Tug Of War
by StayGoldxx
Summary: It was just one night, nothing out of the ordinary that she's never done, it was just one guy. Well that one guy, happens to have a girlfriend and they both can't fight the temptations for each other.
1. Crashing Down

**I do not own this story, its written by S.E Hinton. I only own the character Max Bryant. This is a revised version of I Walk Alone, so please enjoy!**

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I do not own this story, its written by S.E Hinton. I only own the character Max Bryant. This is a revised version of I Walk Alone, so please enjoy!

My heart was racing as my feet ached while running on the treadmill. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest each step. Running 8 miles an hour for 20 minutes, was my new best. Ignoring the pain in my calves, I pushed through it. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 5pm; time to head home to make dinner for grandma.

Lately she's been getting so weak. I hate leaving her alone, but she insists I go to the gym and do something productive since I dropped out of school to take care of her a year ago after grandpa died.

Grabbing a towel, I wiped the sticky sweat of my forehead trying to look like a little less of a mess. I threw the towel in the 'dirty towel' bin at the gym and rushed out the door.

Walking home quickly, I dodged a couple socs I used to go to school with. I once was friends with socs until my grandpa died and we got less money. Grandma refused to move out of the house, so we had to be much better with money and only use it for necessary things. So now, we were as broke as greasers. I never had anything against greasers, but my old friends did.

When I got home, I opened the door to not see my grandma reading on the couch like she always is at this time. Her glasses were sitting on her poetry book on the table next to the couch where they were before I left. I didn't smell the sweet aroma of my grandma's lilac perfume she puts on every afternoon. Something wasn't right.

Continuing through the house, I walked into the kitchen and didn't see the plate she leaves out on the table everyday after she eats her cookies. Now I was getting very nervous. Scared someone was in the house, I grabbed the bat that was sitting in the front closet and started walking down the hallway.

There was a very faint breathing I could hear and I held the bat so tight my knuckles started turning white. Listening for the sound, I walked into my grandparents room to see my grandma lying on the ground in the spot my grandpa had a seizure, with her eyes wide open, breathing heavily and clutching her chest.

I dropped the bat and ran down to her side. Feeling her very light pulse, my heart started thumping so loud I could hear it in my ears.

"Grandma? Grandma answer me!" I screamed shaking her getting scared I would lose her too. Frozen, she still didn't look at me.

Even though I was afraid to leave her alone, I had to call an ambulance. Sprinting into the living room ignoring the pain all over my body and my racing heart, I picked up the phone and slammed 911 into the phone.

"911. What's your emergency?" The operator on the end said.

"I need an ambulance to 7810 Courtney road now! My grandma is having a heartattack!" I rushed out trying to calm my shaking nerves.

The lady responded "We're on our way." Dropping the phone down, I ran back to my grandma and knelt down beside her limp body.

"I'm gonna get an aspirin while waiting for the ambulance okay?" I said choking back tears. I had to be strong for her. She barely nodded. Running into the bathroom, I tore the medicine cabinet apart finally finding the aspirin.

When I got back to my grandma I already had a pill in my hand and told her to swallow it as I put it in her mouth. After a little while she finally managed to get the pill to go down.

I could hear the ambulance coming so I lifted my grandma up and took long strides trying to get to the door fast. As I was a few feet away, the door was busted down by two men in uniform. I handed them my grandma's body, not wasting a second.

"I'm coming with," I announced to the men as they put my grandma on a gurnee.

A tall man with gel'd back hair answered me. "I'm sorry miss, but you'll have to meet us at the hospital. We need multiple people in the back to keep her heart going. She's reacting like it's been at least 20 minutes," He said making a pang go through my body. He could see the tears brimming in my eyes. "I'm so sorry," He said as he hopped in the back and closed the doors looking at me one last time.

Looking down the street, I saw two boys heading towards a car. It looked small, but it'll do. Running down the road I started screaming to the two boys to stop before they drove off. They both stopped in their tracks getting their attention.

"Please, I know you saw what just happened and I know you don't know me, but can you please drive me to the hospital. I'm begging you," I pleaded with the two young looking boys.

"Oh' course," One replied. He was heart-strikingly beautiful. His sparkling green eyes made his defined cheekbones stand out, giving him a look like I've never seen. His dark brown, greased back locks, indicated that he was a greaser, but my, was he gorgeous. He was wearing a DX station shirt with the name 'Sodapop' sewed onto it in cursive letters.

The boy next to him looked very familiar, but I couldn't pinpoint where from. He was extremely tall and had a dirty look on his face, but he was also rather attractive. His dark brown hair was also greased back, but unlike this other boys, there was no flyaway hairs. His dark brown eyes glared at me like I was going to hell or something. He was also wearing a DX station shirt with the name 'Steve sewed onto it with cursive letters.

That's when it hit me.

Oh shit. He was the guy from the other night. Oh fuck. Oh jesus lord christ. I nearly fucked this kid, and after, someone told me he has a girlfriend. By the glare he was giving me I knew he remembered me. I bet he never thought he would see me again. Oh god. Well I'm screwed.

"On second thought-," I started, but was interrupted by Steve.

"Just get in the fucking car," He snarled.

"Hey buddy, that's no way to talk to a lady," The boy speaking smiled over at me. "I'm Sodapop Curtis, but you can call me Soda. And this rascal here is my bud Steve Randle. Are you okay?" He asked with concern in his voice. Looking into his eyes, the hard façade I was trying to put on, was just stripped right off.

"Max Bryant. And I'll be better once I just get to my grandma. Can we please go?" I pleaded.

"Yeah," He said looking at his car. Although it was pretty beat up, I kinda liked it. It was a blue mustang; my favorite car. Peering inside, I noticed there were only two seats, but there were three of us.

"Umm Soda?" I asked.

"Hmm?" He answered.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" I asked awkwardly. I watched his reaction as if he didn't realize til now that his car was only fit for two. He looked at Steve with a pleading look in his eye. I looked at Steve's hard face as he shook his head.

"No no no! That's not happenin'," I said getting the hint that I would be sitting on Steve's lap. I looked at Soda and he was giving me an almost puppy dog looking face, making me sigh and finally agree.

"Just get in," I snapped at Steve.

With a victory smile, Sodapop got in and so did Steve. Sighing, I sat down on Steve as he glared at me. He slammed the door shut and Soda pulled away and put on the radio. It was in the middle of playing my grandma's favorite song. Let It Be by The Beatles. I couldn't hold the tears in anymore.

I felt a hand on my back as I put my head on Steve's shoulder and cried not caring that it was him. Tears dripped down my face and neck every once and a while landing on Steve.

When the lyrics "For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see", I hid my face deeper in Steve's neck, not giving two shits. Soda got the hint and turned the radio off.

If she doesn't make it, I don't know what I'll do. What will happen to me? I'll have no one now, except my cousin who used to be like my big brother, but god knows where he is.

Steve wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly as I put my arms around his neck, crying even harder. Calming down a bit, I readjusted myself. My lips were resting on Steve's cheek near his ear and I closed my eyes. Breathing hot breaths on Steve's neck trying to stop crying completely, I could feel his heart beating faster.

"We're here," Soda's voice broke through the silence. "Do you want us to go with ya?" He asked with concern.

"Would you really?" I asked while looking up at him and wiping away my tears. I was surprised he would ask me something like that, I mean he just met me.

Nodding his head, we all climbed out of mustang and headed into the hospital. We approached the desk where a lady was sitting who looked like she was in her mid-thirties.

"Umm my grandma was just brought in here a little while ago. Where is she?" I asked nervously.

"Oh yes," She said looking at her computer and typing in a couple things then finally answering. "She's in the ER," She responded very monotone.

I felt like my heart dropped to my stomach and that I was gonna vomit. This can't be happening. This isn't real.

I turned around and ran out the door and into the ER building that was just to my right. I could hear the two boys yelling at me, but I just ignored them. When I got to the building, I burst through the doors and sprinted to the desk, hearing Sodapop and Steve right behind me.

"My grandma was just brought here. How long til I can see her?" I asked completely out of breath.

The man also typed on the computer for a moment until he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. Oh please don't be dead. She's strong, she can't die.

"She went into cardiac arrest so they have to restart her heart. It could be a couple hours. You can wait in the waiting room if you'd like," He said. He actually had some sympathy in his voice rather than the other woman.

Turning around, I saw in the corner of the room about six or seven chairs set up against the wall with a table covered in magazines. I walked over to a chair and sat down, beginning to bawl my eyes out. I could feel someone sit next to me and soon a large hand was on my back, rubbing it. I eventually ended up in Soda's arms as he comforted me, while Steve sat there reading a magazine. What a sweetie.

"Umm are you Ms. Bryant?" I heard a voice say after about an hour of waiting. Springing up, I saw a doctor in front of me. Hoping and praying for good news, I nodded my head confirming his question. "You're grandmother's heart is stable, but we have her on some medications, so she'll be asleep for possibly a couple days," He explained.

A questionable look appeared on my face. "Why'd you drug her?" I asked confused.

"Just standard procedure," He answered.

"Is she gonna make it?" My sniffles could be heard by everyone in the room. And my heart was pounding so loud, I thought it was going to fall out of my chest.

"Well with her age and very frail body, it's quite possibly her life is coming to an end. In elders, its common to get a heart attack around the time they go," He said as if it were just information, not that it was an actual person's life at stake. "She's in room 176," He said walking away.

The doctors here really need to learn what sympathy is. Maybe they would be acting a little more empathetic if it was their family in that room fighting for their life.

The second he walked away, I went searching for her room. When I finally found it, I stared into the window seeing my grandma's limp body attached to multiple machines with tubes coming out of her nose connected to another machine. I felt an aching in my body as I started backing up, not believing my eyes.

Feeling my body hit something, I turned around frightened, but quickly cooled down to see it was only Sodapop. Tears once again began flooding my vision and pouring down my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. In response, he put his arms around my waist and hugged me against his body, tightly. It was the most comfort anyone has ever given me.

"Everythin's goin' be all right," He reassured me as he soothingly spoke into my ear.

Nodding my head, I unraveled myself from him and walked over to the door leading into her room. Very slowly, I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open slightly.

I could feel my body freezing in time. I couldn't move; I was paralyzed. I couldn't bring myself to take a foot towards the old woman who has been with me through everything. She's the only thing I live for now, the only person I love. She holds my deepest and darkest secrets that I've never told another soul. And now I'm being told she might not live much longer.

Shock ran through my body and I could feel myself losing all color in my face. Feeling a little bump, I turned around to see Steve was the one who shoved me towards her, encouraging me to go in. I glared at him a bit, but behind it was a thanks.

Turning towards my grandma's body, I took a step forward and soon was sitting in a chair pulled up beside her bed. Slowly inching my hand over her bed sheets, it met hers and I held it tightly, as if it was the only thing between life and death.

Looking back towards the door, I could see the two boys looking in at me through the window, just watching. A small smile appeared on my lips as a thanks. Sodapop gave me a small smile back while Steve just nodded his head.

Gazing back at my grandma, all I could do now was hope and pray she pulls through this.

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**So? Watcha think?! You like the little twist that wasn't there before?! Give me feedback y'all! **


	2. Eyes

It's been three days since my grandma checked into the hospital. Everyday, I would sit in her room, hoping and praying she would wake up soon and pull through this. I never left her side. I never talked to anyone. The chair next to bed, become my new bed. Yes, it hurt incredibly, but I refused to stay anywhere else.

I rarely even slept, so it didn't matter much. I only got about 2-4 hours a night. Continuously, I would wake up at night thinking she was going to wake up, but it was always just my subconscious playing a cruel joke on me. The doctor said she was supposed to have woken up yesterday and the fact that she didn't, worried me to no end.

Besides myself, my grandma hasn't gotten any other company, not including the occasional doctors coming in to check on her. Each time the doctor would come in, a more nervous look would appear on his face because she hasn't woken up yet. Every time his face becomes more nervous, so does mine. She's all I have left, I need her.

Why do the bad things only happen to good people? Why couldn't this be me instead of her?

I found myself waking up with the scratchy blankets covering my entire body except my arm that hung out so I wouldn't get too warm under the covers. My head laid on the pillow softly on my left so I could breath. It was one of those kind of pillows that when a weight goes on it, it sinks, a lot. It's a terrible pillow, but I don't protest seeing as its the only one I have.

Sitting up, I saw Soda walking past my room. Why in the world is he here? Fixing my hair a bit so I wouldn't look like such a mess, I saw him peering into my grandma's room, only to continue walking. Then he doubled back when he saw me. I looked at his hands and saw a cup with steam coming out of it. Looking up at his face, I saw a huge smile plastered on it.

Curious as to what he wanted, I walked over to the door while adjusting my shorts hoping he wouldn't notice the huge wedgie I woke up with. I haven't left the hospital since Sodapop drove me here, so I obviously haven't changed. I haven't even showered, only went to the bathroom. I wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up.

I opened the door and let Sodapop in. Quickly, I turned back around to look at my grandma, just in case she woke up. I always checked to make sure her chest was going up and down to indicate that she was still breathing. Sitting down on my 'bed', I invited the boy to sit next to me.

"What are you doing here Sodapop?" I questioned.

"I thought you might want some company," He said with sadness in his voice, but a smile on his face. I knew he was at least trying. "Oh here," He said handing me the cup. "I brought you some coffee. Courtesy of Sodapop Curtis," A huge grin was plastered on his face and I couldn't help, but crack a smile.

"Thanks Soda," I was shocked at the small voice that came out of me. I guess that's what happens when it hasn't been in use lately.

"How is she doing?" He asked with sincere concern dripping from every word.

"She still hasn't woken up yet, or showed any signs of it," The smile that was on my face was quickly wiped away as I looked at Soda. "What if she doesn't make it?" I asked while looking back over at my grandma, glueing my eyes to her still body.

I thought I had dried my eyes out from crying so much, but I guess there are never enough tears. Resting my head on Soda's shoulders as I cried, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, in attempt to comfort me.

"Well what a sight to see," An old voice echoed through the room.

Springing my head up, I saw my grandma with a smile on her face, even though she looked very pale, it was still heart warming. Sniffing and wiping my tears away, I got up and walked over to my grandma's side and held her hand.

"Hi sweetie," Such innocence was held in her voice.

"Hi grandma," I whimpered out.

"Who is this young man? A boyfriend I see?" My grandma knew that I've never had a boyfriend. One of the many secrets my grandma held about me.

"Grandma, this is Sodapop Curtis," I said as Soda stood up and shook my grandma's hand, then standing beside me. "He drove me here when I called the ambulance," Sadness coated my words as I recollected that day. The large grin held on my grandma's face disappeared in an instant.

"I'm gonna have to have a little talk with the workers here. Pft, not letting my granddaughter in the ambulance with me. What kind of crap is that?! No, that just won't do with me!" She humphed and folded her arms across her chest. I couldn't contain the laughter I was holding in at how much of a child she was acting like right now. Both mine and Soda's laughters filled the room and was soon joined by my grandma's.

"It's okay grandma. As long as you got the care you needed, I didn't mind," I responded.

"I see you haven't changed since you went to the gym. Will you go home, shower and change sweetheart?" I guess I probably did smell, but I didn't want to go back there, to that place of horrors. It was hard enough to live there after my grandpa died, but now seeing my grandma almost die in the same spot? It was too hard. I couldn't do it.

"I can't go back there granny. Not back to the where…," I said clueing her in. A frown fell on her face as she understood what I was implying. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back there anytime soon.

"You can shower at my place," Soda offered. Looking at him strangely he continued. "I'm sure my brother can give ya some clothes too. They might be a bit big on ya, but it'll do," Soda said with a hopeful grin on his face.

"Are you sure?" I asked as a smile was spread across his face.

"Yeah it's fine! I can introduce you to the gang then!" He said with a skip in his voice.

The gang? I made a freaked out face at that; a gang sounds dangerous. He caught my drift and reassured me that it wasn't that kind of gang, just a group of friends.

"All right, if you're sure it's okay,-" I started only to be interrupted.

"Just take the boy's damn offer Maxy!" My grandma said teasingly.

"Well sheesh if you insist," I said smiling at both my grandma and Sodapop. "Thanks Soda," I said as he gave me a side hug. A small blush poured onto my pale cheeks adding some color to my face as I moved my dirty blonde hair out of my face.

"I'll wait outside the door for ya then," He said as he opened the door and walked out. I watched as he pressed his back against the window waiting for me.

Looking back at my grandma, I saw a huge grin on her face. "He's a keeper," She said as the grin grew. Oh geez, she thought Soda and I were together.

"Oh no. He's-," She put her hand up stopping me from finishing my sentence then shooed me out with her hand.

"I'll be back in an hour or two grandma," I said as I walked out.

I walked up to Soda and he grabbed my hand in his. I hope as a friendly gesture only. I allowed myself to melt at his touch as we wandered out of the hospital to find his beat up mustang that I remember all too well. Sitting in the passenger seat finally without having to squish on Steve's lap, Soda got in and started the car.

The car ride to Soda's house was quiet, but was very content, not awkward. We both were lost in our thoughts.

After a couple minutes, we pulled up to what I assumed was Soda's house. I could see what looked like Steve sitting on the porch talking to another boy outside. Just thinking about the way Steve touched me just last week, a couple days before the accident. Imaging his touch again, threw shivers up my spine.

I could see Steve looking directly in the car with a smile, but when his eyes landed on me, the smile was gone instantly and replaced with a glare. The boy he was talking to followed his gaze to figure out what he was looking at til his eyes landed on me.

Soda parked by the curb and looked at me announcing, "We're here," with a smile on his face. Nervously, I quickly threw a smile on my. He got out of the car and walked over to my side and opened my door.

"M'lady," He said bowing as a joke, but I couldn't help, but blush knowing Steve was watching me.

"Thanks," I said quietly moving my hair all to one side, getting it out of my eyes. Shyly, I got out of the car and followed Soda to a fence that surrounded the yard. He opened the latch and let us through. He walked up to Steve and the other boy and gave them a nod while I followed him over.

"Oh well my my Soda, I didn't know you could get a catch like this," The boy who I didn't know said. I couldn't help the blush flowing onto my cheeks. The boy also had greased back dirty blonde hair matching with his hazel eyes. He was almost a foot taller than me, making it quite a stretch to look up at. He was also very muscular.

"Two-Bit this is Max, Max, Two-Bit," He said introducing me to the mysterious boy. "And you already know Steve," He said. Oh I know Steve. Wink wink.

This Two-bit kid swiftly walked over to me trying to look cool as he slithered his arm around my waist while looking me in the eye 'seductively' making me feel very uncomfortable. I did not like this position one bit.

"Well hello there, pretty lady," He said with a smirk. As he spoke, I could smell beer and cigarettes coming off his breath. I hope they all don't smell this way.

Hearing a door slam shut, I took my eyes off Two-Bit, startled by the sound and saw that none other than Steve, made the loud noise. What is his issue?

"Don't mind him darlin'. Stevie is always in a bad mood," Two-Bit said flirtatiously. Nervously, I put a small smile on my face agreeing with this boy who I had only just met. I think Soda finally came to realization that I didn't like the position I was in by the way I was acting. He grabbed me and jerked me towards him softly, getting me out of Two-Bit's grasp.

"Alright kid. Don't startle the girl too much. Don't want her never comin' back here," Soda said making Two-Bit snicker and walk into the house.

Soda and I followed him inside. As we walked through the door, Soda put his arm around my small waist, feeling much more comfortable with him touching me than Two-Bit. The door slammed behind us as an aroma of beer and cigarettes hit me. They all must drink and smoke. Peering towards the couch, I saw three boys, while Two-Bit and Steve were sitting on the ground. Two-Bit held a piece of what looked like chocolate cake in his hand as he stuffed it into his face. It looked so mouth watering.

Once my eyes met Steve's, his eyes hardened as he noticed Soda's arms around me. I don't understand why that would be such a big deal to him. He had a girlfriend, he was just using me to cheat on her or something.

I looked back at the other boys on the couch to see they all looked all different ages, but based off their greased back hair, I knew they were all greasers.

One on the far right side had dark brown, greased back hair the went right below his ear. His eyes looked almost like a dark green and when he looked at me, I felt as if he could see right through me. He was so sweet and innocent looking. But one thing I did notice, was he looked exactly like Sodapop, but younger. My guess was that was his brother whose clothes I would be borrowing.

The boy in the middle, had dark skin and pitch black hair, also greased back. Some of his hair hung in front of his face a bit above his eyebrows. He had brown eyes that reminded me of chocolate. I noticed along his face, he had a scar going from the bottom of his eye to his chin. When he noticed me looking at him, he looked the other way, like a scared little puppy.

The third boy on the left side had dark brown hair, but wasn't greased back making it look soft. Right away my eyes went to his icy blue eyes that looked as if he had no soul. It scared me to think that Sodapop was friends with someone as intimidating looking as him. This boy's cheekbones were very defined, giving him that rough look. He still hadn't looked at me, which was a good thing, I wanted to blend in.

"Boy! What did I say 'bout slamming that damn door!" A thundering voice called from a different room. A large man that was very built, walked into the living room doorway and leaned against it as he held a rag he was drying his hands on. His hair was also greased back like the other boys, but had a bump in the front with hair that covered his eyebrows a bit. Surrounding the bottom of his face, I could see stubble meaning he was probably the oldest of the group.

Once he laid his eyes on me, the angry look washed away as if it was never there. "Oh well who is this Sodapop?" He asked.

"This is my friend Darry, so be nice," Soda warned with a tough tone in his voice. The man standing in the doorway chuckled a bit and nodded his head, then went back into what I'm guessing was the kitchen.

"Soda, who's this?" Asked the younger looking Soda.

"This is-," Soda began, but was quickly cut off.

"Max?" I heard a voice. Finding who the voice was coming from, it was the toughest boy in the house, apart from Darry.

"Umm do I know you?" I asked a bit freaked out this guy knew me. He stood up and walked over to me, looking at me closely.

"It's me. Dallas," The boy said. Taking in his looks and name, it finally looked.

"Dally?!" I asked.

"Yeah man," A smile lightened on my face. I hugged him tightly with a large smile on my face. I wasn't alone. I had Dallas, my only cousin.

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**Ohhhh did you guys see that twist?! I really hope not! haha so what do you think now that you know she has a connection to two of the boys? SHARE. **


	3. READ PLEASE

So hey y'all. So I propose a deal. I'm posting this on all of my stories that are in progress. If I get over 1,000 views on this video of mine, I promise, I will post 5 chapters each story in one day. Please help me! I put a lot of time into this. Also tell me if you guys enjoy it to. If not well tell me. Give me some input!

watch?v=W-8AjlEh3K8

Just copy and paste the link please! I would love you forever!


	4. The Birdy

**Here's my new chapter! And guys look at the link I had in the previous update! Please! It would mean the world to me!**

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After being introduced to the guys, I sat next to Dally so we could catch up a bit.

"So Dally, when did you move to Tulsa? Last time I saw you was on Christmas when you were eight," I stated. He sat back in the couch and pulled out a smoke then lit it.

"Ma and Dad been treatin' me like shit. I left and ended up here," I could tell he wasn't much for talking.

He never really was, even when he was younger. He would just sit with a hard look on his face, always glaring at people. But him and I were always best friends. There was no doubt about it. I remember when he used to always have a smile on his face. He was about six and I was four.

We would always play the little kid games together like tag and hide n seek, but the best memory was at my house for Thanksgiving.

"Catch me if you can!" I shouted while running through the house.

Sprinting as fast as a four year old could, I ran into the dining room to see the parents setting up the food. I stopped right in my tracks to see the delicious apple pie just in the kitchen. My mom had just taken it out of the oven. I was broken out of my thoughts by someone bumping into me.

"Tag! You're it!" Yelled Dally as he ran from me. He got on all fours and crawled under the table. Following him, I bumped my head on the table when I went to stand up.

"Ouch!" A voice screamed muffled.

I held onto my head as I crawled out from under the table and right in front of me was a body with a chicken body for a head. Scared, I took the rolling pin I saw next to me and bopped it on the head.

"Monstew! Monstew!" I yelled while hitting it over and over only for it to grab the pin and pull its head off revealing Dally. "Hehe, sowwy Dally!" I said with an innocent smile on my face. As I was batting my eyelashes, I felt something gooey being slapped on my face. I opened my eyes to see Dally with a handful of stuffing in his hand with his classic smirk on his face.

"Payback!" He said proudly.

"Oh, it's on!" I shouted while picking up the bowl of mash potatoes and running around the table after him, both of us laughing with huge grins on our faces.

"Shit Dal, I'm sorry," I said reminiscing the times I've heard his parents yelling at him for stupid things. I guess it lead up to worse. I placed my hand on on his shoulder as he took a drag from his cig.

"I don't need no babying Max," He said while removing my hand from his body.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes while the boys watched Mickey Mouse. Looking down at Steve who was sitting next to Two-Bit on the floor, I studied him. His hair was perfectly greased back and no where in his face, unlike most of the other boys. His cheekbones weren't defined like Dal's, but they were perfect. They gave him a sexy complexion, but a tuff one. Every Time I looked at him, I could feel the way he caressed my back, such a gentle touch, I couldn't resist.

Catching myself while I pictured that night in my head, I thought about the reason I was here in the first place; because of grandma. Maybe I should tell Dal. He was never as close with her as me, but she would always calm him down after my aunt and uncle would yell at him.

"Gran's in the hospital," I said abruptly. Glancing at Dally, I saw he only barely paused, barely enough to notice then continued smoking cooley. "Didn't you hear me?" I asked again.

"Yeah I heard ya," He said while watching the TV.

"Don't you care at all?" I asked dumbfounded that he seems like he doesn't give a rats ass that she almost died.

Silence. That's all. No response.

Before I could answer him, I felt myself being pulled off the couch and into a different room. Seeing the toilet, I knew it was the bathroom. Before we entered Soda yelled to Pony to get me some clothes. I guess that would be right because Soda is a good eight inches taller than me; yeah I was really short.

As we entered the bathroom, Soda pulled a towel out of the closet and brought it to me, setting it down on the counter. "Okay, you can take a shower in here. I'll get you some clothes when you come out. Anythin' else ya need?" Soda asked me sweetly. Shaking my head, Soda turned on the shower for me. "I'll be around the house. Jus' holler for me when you're done," He said.

He turned to walk out, but before he could get out the door, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a huge hug. "Thank you Soda, for everything," I said with a smile.

"Oh course," He said pulling away and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, putting a small smile on my face.

Once he left, I locked the door and began to strip down. I looked into the mirror to see how bad off I looked. My face had lost just about all its color. My eyeliner and mascara were completely gone, and I looked a bit skinnier because I hadn't eaten since I got to the hospital. I didn't look ugly, but not gorgeous either. So in other words, I looked me.

I got in the shower and closed the curtain dousing my body in the warm. It felt great to finally be taking a shower for the first time in days. I felt dirty and disgusting in the clothes I was wearing because they were the ones I worked out in meaning they were all sweaty and smelled.

As the water filled up the space, drenching my long dirty blonde hair in it, I noticed it wasn't as warm as the water at my house. I guess the warmer water at my house was one of the perks of being 'middle class'; neither greaser nor socs.

I washed my hair quickly and once I finished, I turned the water off and grabbed the towel Soda set down on the counter to dry myself off with. After drying off, I wrapped the towel tightly around my body just above my chest, being able to hide everything.

Opening the door, I peered out to see nobody in the house. Staying quiet, I could very faintly hear voices from what my guess was from outside. I waited a couple minutes, but it didn't seem like they would be coming anytime soon.

Shit.

I was stuck in a towel, in a house full of boys with no clothes. Great. Just lovely. So, I did what any girl who was stuck in a house of boys would do, I walked to the door to see all seven boys talking to another greaser with a couple guys behind him.

The man had hair greased back exactly like Two-Bit's, but unlike the rest of the boys, he had dark eyes with bags underneath them. He wasn't a very tall man like the rest of the boys, but his upper body was built, giving off the illusion he could pack a punch.

Well, now what was I supposed to do? They looked like they were having a very heated conversation. I stood in the doorway waiting a couple more seconds seeing if anyone would notice me, but no one did. Going against my conscience, I walked outside in nothing, but the damn towel. Within seconds the strange man who stood talking to the boys, looked me up and down while licking his lips.

"Well boys, I see you got yourselves a new toy. And my is she a beauty," Spoke the strange man. I felt a blush come to my face seeing as I'm not called that very often.

Folding my arms, I tried to hide my breasts more. Since my being there had been pointed out, all the boys in the yard looked me up and down, most bug eyed. Only Darry and Dally seemed to be the bigger men and didn't do that, thank god. All I knew was I felt completely invaded.

"Keep your eyes off of her Tim. She ain't here for lookin'!" Dally shouted at the man who I guess is Tim.

"Or what Winston? Since when you give a fuck 'bout them damn broads?" He chuckled and looked at the men behind him while they laughed at me too. Well geez, why don't you just tell us you rape girls in your free time, why don't ya?

"Excuse me Tim," I said saying his name, dripping with disgust. "I ain't no one's toy. Understand that? People that use women are disgusting scumbacks. Got that hood?" I said marching up to him, not backing down. Shock covered his face.

I could hear someone in his gang mumble "damn she got him" making Tim snap at him. "Shut it Brad!" He yelled. "Now looky here missy, you ain't ever goin speak to me like that. Got it?" He said taking a step towards me, glaring at me.

"Shove it," I said as I turned around and began walking away.

Merely a second later, I heard yelling and shouting. Turning back around, I saw Dally being tackled to the ground, Steve being held back by Tim's gang and Soda standing his ground in front of me with Tim in his face. Tim pounced at me, but Soda shoved him back.

"You got some girl on your hands Curtis. You better keep her mouth shut, or I'll have to shut it up myself," He said continuing to give me the most evil glare imaginable, but that didn't scare me one bit. Glaring right back, I watched him and his gang retreat, but I had one more thing up my sleeve.

"Hey Tim!" I shouted. He turned around with hard eyes. Lifting my hand in the air, I flipped him the birdy with a loud and proud smile covering my face. His gang began laughing and I thought at any moment steam would start to come out of Tim's ears.

"Leave,"I heard Dally say as Tim walked back up to me, but was stopped by Dally. Looking back at me one last time, he walked away.

A few minutes later, I began to speak. "Now that's more like it. Soda, can you get me some clothes now?" I asked. He turned around with an astonished look on his face. It's like no one has ever said that to Tim before. I don't know his reputation around here, but it didn't scare me.

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**So watcha think?!**


	5. Luck

**Sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days, I've been extremely busy! **

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Since my grandma has woken up, I haven't left her side. The doctors are still unsure if she won't have a repercussion of another heart attack. It's been about nine days since she was first checked into the hospital. Each day becomes more boring for her and me. Staring at the same four walls all day everyday, didn't seem to intrigue me one bit. And the terrible hospital food? My stomach turned just looking at it. Knowing I had to eat, didn't make me feel any better.

Sodapop stops by almost every morning before he goes to work and brings me coffee and keeps grandma and me company for an hour or so. The days he didn't work he would spend a couple more hours here. Sometimes, he would even drag Steve along and that was uncomfortable. Knowing the guy I almost banged and my grandma in the same room just wasn't very inviting.

But something about Steve makes me want him again; not that I'd ever admit that to him. Even though every time he looked at me he was glaring, it made my stomach do flips and my heartbeat become louder and much faster. It made my knees weak, put me in a daze and make me to want him more.

My grandma has taken a liking to Sodapop though. She loves having him around. When he comes, he always gives her a big hug like they're lifetime best buds, but we all know that's not true. Like me, she doesn't open up very easily; she just enjoys to talk about the other person or other people. I can't blame her though, it's hard to trust people in this town. But it's different for her considering she's lost so many friends. So she's scared to get to know other people now and then lose them.

I told grandma about how Dally lives here. She hasn't seen him since Christmas when he was eight and I was six because her, my grandpa, my parents and I all moved out here. The whole family was going to move out here, but his parents refused to leave New York. She asked how he ended up here at his age and I told her how his parents have been treating him like crap. She said she really wants to see him, so I told Sodapop to tell Dally to come visit, but he never came.

One day, Two-Bit came by after Soda had left for work. I didn't even realize he knew my grandma was still at the hospital. I suppose Soda's gotta tell somebody where he spends most of his time.

But casually, Two-Bit came strolling in with his Mickey Mouse shirt on, that be ole' grin on his face, and surprisingly enough, no beer glued to his hand. I could hear his cowboy shoe's echo on the tile floor, then suddenly stop making me look up, to see an ear-to-ear grin on his face.

"Hey there shortstack," The first thing he says as he walks into the room, ruffling my hair and taking a squat next to me on my 'bed'. My grandma gave a questioning look towards the boy seeing as a strange looking kid just came waltzing on into her room like it was nothing.

"Hey Two-Bit and I am not that short," I exclaimed giving him a 'mean' look. He threw his head back and roared a loud laugh.

"Well who is this young man here, Maxy?" My grandma's sweet voice entered the conversation. A confused look was placed upon her face. She was the most darlin' thing when she was confused. A couple wrinkles on her forehead pulled together as she cocked one eyebrow up slightly more than the other, it was the most adorable thing.

"Gran, this is Two-Bit, one of Soda's buddies," I explained. She nodded her head and put a bright smile on her face.

"Hello Two-Bit. That's a very interesting name," She laughed slightly as Two-Bit's goofy grin appeared on his face.

"Ma'am! This girl's a legend!" He said pointing to me. I gave him a confused look. Two-Bit continued, "She told off one of the toughest greasers in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She wasn't even scared one bit!" He explained proudly wrapping his arm tightly around me showing that he was overjoyed.

A grin grew on my grandma's old face. "Now that's my grandbaby," She said happy to be calling me hers. I took pride in that, pride that she was proud of me for something. Immediately negative thoughts began running through my head; would people start to jump me more if I'm known like this? Are people gonna be after me?

"Don' worry Max, no one'll hurt ya," Two-Bit reassured me after seeing my worried face. I nodded my head as he began talking to my grandma.

XXXX

The pitter patter of rain hitting the window filled the quiet room as my grandma and I thought. Soda had left a few hours ago cause he needed to pick up Ponyboy from school. Pony would normally walk, but the rain was coming down hard and Soda didn't want Ponyboy walking in that adding to the fact that he could get jumped at any moment.

Grandma and I were playing a card, one I really needed to think on.

"Hit me," My grandma spoke with a suspicious grin covering her wrinkly face. I did as she said, and she got 21! I was amazed since she only needed a 2 and somehow that's what she got.

"You always have the best of luck," I smiled at her.

"Luck is one of the few things you can't find in this world. It's something god only hands out to a few people," She advised me. "Cause Everyone's gotta find their own luck," I nodded my head in understanding as the doctor walked in the door with his head stuffed in paperwork.

"Well , it looks as if you are finally stable. You can go home today," A smile covered both mine and my grandma's faces. "You have showed no signs of your heart attack leading to another, so I'll go get a nurse to help you pack and get ready to get back on your feet," He said with a smile on his face too. As if on cue, the rain stopped. I guess I have luck too. I get to keep my grandma.

As the doctor walked out, grandma and I began cheering like we just won the lottery. She stood up and once she gained balance on the bed, she started jumping up and down singing, "Amazing grace! How sweet the sound!" And it continued on from there.

"I want you to go to the gym today and workout like you've never worked out before!" She exclaimed jumping down from the bed. I nodded my head and she grabbed my hands and pulled me into a big hug. "I love you baby," She said in my ear.

"I love you too." We danced in a circle together laughing, when suddenly, she stopped. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she fell over; I had just barely caught her as she began to shake violently.

I completely panicked and started screaming for doctors hysterically. After only a couple more seconds, the doctor and a nurse barged through the door. Looking at them, I saw their faces astonished at the sight before them.

The nurse grabbed a pillow and shoved it under my grandma's back and rolled her over to the side so she wouldn't choke on the fluid that began spewing out of her mouth. I was so shaken up. The liquid coming out of her mouth was white and foamy, I couldn't help but gag.

The nurse started saying things to the doctor as he tried to help save my grandma, but all I could hear was a ringing in my ears as I cupped my hands over them, trying to block out the scene in front of me. The doctor looked up at her heart monitor as more nurses rushed into my room. Slowly, I began crumbling down against the wall.

A loud beep filled the room with silence. I looked to where the noise was coming from, to see her heart monitor with a flatline, replacing the jagged lines that were there before. I frantically looked down at my grandma as she stopped shaking; along with her chest no longer moving. Nervously, I looked up at the doctor just as his eyes connected with mine, to see grief covering his face. This couldn't be happening.

"I'm so sor-," He began, but my screams interrupted him. I rushed to my grandma's side and held her not caring about the fluids left on her face. I wept holding onto her limp body as the doctor and nurses tried to pry me off of her.

"No!" I shouted, tears spewing out of my eyes. "You said she was okay! You lied! You fucking lied!" I cried wishing my grandma's face would come back to life and she would softly breath and tell me that everything would be okay. But it wouldn't be. It'll never be okay.

Without me noticing, I found myself out of my grandma's room just minutes later. The same room she spent the last two weeks of her life in. The room where I bonded with Soda and Two-Bit and a little with Steve. Tears rapidly fell down my face and I quietly sobbed as I walked out of the hospital.

I bumped into a couple people, said I was sorry and went on my way. Everyone in the hospital looked at me as they knew that I was the girl screaming.

When I out into the cool night, I noticed it started raining again, but I didn't care, it would disguise the tears that continued to crawl down my face every time I blinked. I trudged out of the hospital, ready to get soaked from head to toe.

A few minutes later, I started getting cold and was shaking. I had no where to go because I was not going back to my grandma's house, I just can't face it. I can't bring myself to go back. My legs were getting tired and I sat down on the sidewalk on a semi empty road, only a few cars would come and go.

I enveloped my legs into my body as I shook violently. My grandma's laugh would echoed through my ears. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but hers flashed before mine. The horror of realizing she would no longer be here for me for anything, even just a shoulder to cry on, was the worst part of it all. She helped me blossom into the strong girl I am. I felt like I could just punch someone in the face. And that's what I did.

Before I knew it, I ended up at the gym. When I walked inside, it was about 8 o'clock. I went to my locker and threw my sweatpants and sports bra on, prepared to fight. Instead of going to the workout room like I usually do, I walked into the boxing room. Guys were beating up punching bags, some were in the ring attacking each other and some were lifting weights. They were all covered in sweat.

I wiped my eyes and walked up to the ring just as two buffish looking guys had stopped fighting and shook on it. I felt like I could explode right there and then, ready to hit whatever, whoever I could.

"Hey!" I shouted as I wiped the tears from my eyes. A white man wearing red boxing shorts and no shirt, looking very cut, turned around. He had blonde hair buzzed off and green eyes. "Fight me," I said getting in a fighting stance.

"What?" He said chuckling a bit.

"You heard me!" I yelled. "Fight me," I said testing him. I was ready to be hit and I was ready to hit. I needed to feel something.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," He said walking over to me.

"Do it," I said rocking back and forth between my two feet with my hands up.

"You don't even have the proper gear-," He started, but I interrupted him with a swung to the face, but he dodged it.

"I said hit me," My voice came out much darker than I could have ever thought as an irritated look covered his face.

"You asked for it," He said swinging at me, but I ducked right before he could get me. I laughed a dark chuckle at my dodge, but before I could realize what was happening, he hit me right under my eye, making me fall back, but I could barely feel it. Standing up, I got in a fighting stance again.

"Do it again," I said. He did as he was told and drop kicked me, but I stood back up. "Again!" I shouted at him. He had a look of confusion until I swung at him and he dodged it by letting me go under his arm and grabbing the arm I swung, twisting and pulling it back painfully. It felt like my arm would just fall off.

"Go home," He said, as my cry of pain rang through the gym. He let me go, but I stood up as he started walking away.

"Do it, again," I said angrily. Turning around, he looked like smoke was going to come out of his ears. "Hit me! Give me your best shot!" I yelled at him, putting my hands up.

Once again, he swung at me, over and over in the gut, in the face, whatever he could get. Every hit, my grandma's face popped into my head. Each expression, whether it's a smile, a frown, her yelling at me. Anything at all. Suddenly the faces stopped, as no more hits came.

"You're done. Go home," He backed away from me, but I followed him.

"Is that all you got?!" I shouted. I could feeling blood and sweat trickling down my face.

"I said go home!" He yelled, scaring me a bit.

Without another word, I went into the bathroom and walked over to the mirror to see what damage was done. There was a huge cut underneath my eye, on my forehead was a small gash on the side, but that was all the damage done to my face. My stomach, was all bruised up. Already, purple and green bruises covered my body, but still, I felt numb.

Pulling my sweater on, I walked outside into the pouring rain with my gym clothes still on, letting my legs lead the way. I hadn't noticed where I was going until I lifted my head to see myself standing in a familiar yard; Soda's.

Still standing in the yard, I ran up to the door and threw myself at it. I immediately crumbled in sadness as the smell from my jacket, wafted at my face, still smelling like my grandma's lilac perfume she sprayed me with the day I went to the gym with this jacket. I saw the door open, and looked up to see Steve in the doorway.

For the first time, he gave me a look of sadness.

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**Ha whoa. I'm sure y'all expected that, but there will be many twists and turns coming soon. I promise.**


	6. Crying was all I could do

Before he could even speak, I threw myself into his arms and cried as he awkwardly curled his arms around my body, embracing me. Feeling my body being pulled, I felt no more raining pouring down on me now that we were in the house.

Pulling less than an inch away from Steve, I could see Two-Bit, Johnny and Ponyboy sitting on the couch or sprawled out on the floor. All the boys looked over at us as more tears ran down my cheeks. Two-Bit who was sprawled out on the floor holding beer in his hand, set it down and opened his arms, letting me find shelter in them. Collapsing on the floor next to him, he held me in his arms letting me cry. I had definitely warmed up to Two-Bit, but not as much as Sodapop. Since Soda wasn't around, I had Two-Bit.

He held me in his arms, stroking my hair with one hand while the other was wrapped tightly around my waist. He pulled me in between his legs and held me as if I were a baby. I buried my head into his chest, weeping harder and harder.

"Darlin', what's wrong?" He asked me close to my face. I could smell the beer in his breath and his cologne coming off of his shirt as my head stayed in his chest. Wondering about what I was going to say, I bawled more, uncontrollably. I could hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

Before even looking up to see who it was, I heard the most wonderful voice.

"Max," the person breathed. I broke away from Two-Bit and sulked to the other side of the room and into Sodapop's arms. He held me tighter than Two-bit and rubbed my back as he held me closely to him, like he was protecting me from someone. But really, he was protecting me from myself.

"Why aren't you with grandma?" He called her that as if she was his. That's how close the two got.

"Gone," I whispered barely audible. I pulled myself closer to him, grabbing his shirt in my hands, making fists.

I wept harder now than when I lost my parents. My grandma was the person I went to when I fell off the swing, or when someone was pushing me around at school, or when the boy I liked told me I was ugly and weird. She was always there for me, no matter the cost and now, poof, just like that, she's gone. Forever.

"What?" He said. I couldn't tell if her heard or not.

"She died. She's gone Sodapop," I cried to him. I felt his chest breathe in heavily before he spoke. Shock.

"How?" He questioned just as confused as I was about how it happened. "I left no more than a few hours ago. Doc said she was doin' great," Soda said.

"He lied. She was gonna go home Soda, he told us she was goin' leave today. She was dancing 'round the room with me and had a… she.. she had a seizure," I could barely get the words out as they sunk in, that she really was gone. I looked up into Soda's eyes to see they no longer sparkled the bright eccentric green they always were. Now, they were grey and his face had lost all color in it.

"I'm so sorry Max," He said pulling me closer. "I know she meant everythin' to ya. You have me, you have us. You even got Dally," He said with care written all over his face.

"But you aren't her," I wept feeling awful the second the words left my mouth, but it's the truth. He is not the old woman who would always comfort me or be the person I talked to about everything. "I'm sorry Soda, I-I didn't mean it," I choked out.

"S'ok. I'm not mad. Have you eaten dinner?" He asked attempting to change the subject. Without looking up, I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry," I spoke blankly. Suddenly, a delicious aroma left the kitchen and filled the living room.

"Dinners ready boys," A thundering voice called, who I'm assuming was Darry since he had the deepest voice of the boys. The boys walked into the kitchen and patted my back soothingly when they passed. All of them except Steve, he just shot me a look. It hurt, and the tears started again as I wallowed in heartbreak and pain.

"Hey hey look at me," Soda said trying to soothe me. He pulled my face up to his, and shock swept over it as he actually looked at me since I got here. "Holy shit, what happened to ya, Maxy?" He gasped.

"Nothing," I spoke quietly.

"Sure don't look like nothing! Who did this to ya?" I could tell he was getting angry.

"No one. Just drop it," I said looking away from him.

"Why don't you just go take a shower," He sighed knowing I wasn't going to talk. "Pony'll get you some clothes, okay?" He offered.

I nodded my head and walked into the bathroom, closing the door then starting up the shower, when there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, I saw Pony standing there with a dry shirt and pants in his hand. Once his eyes met mine, his ears turned red, and a blush rose on his cheeks. He scratched the back of his neck as he started talking to me.

"I-I'm real sorry Max. Everythin'll be okay," He attempting to reassure me too, but he was stuttering so I could see he wasn't in his normal atmosphere at the moment. "You look real beat up," He stated blankly.

"I'll be fine," I said taking the clothes from him while shutting the door.

"Hey Max," He spoke up just as the door was closing, but I opened it to look at him. "You take my bed tonight," He offered, but I wouldn't allow it.

"No. You sleep in your bed," I retorted. I was not going to change these boys lives around anymore than I already was, even it was just over one nights sleep. "Pone, you have school tomorrow, you need a good night sleep," I said not letting him win. He nodded his head and left while I shut the door.

I was completely stripped down and as I was taking my second sock off, I slipped and fell into the shower while water came pouring on my head. I felt my head become warm as water engulfed my body. I began crying again and curled up in a ball as the pain started on my head. Looking in the tub, I saw the water turning red and confusion appeared on my face. I put my hand behind my head and when I brought it back to my face, I saw blood on it, but I didn't care.

Ignoring it, I threw my head in between my knees and wept. All the memories of my grandma and me flew through my thoughts. For a moment, I thought I could smell her amazing chicken, her famous recipe and one of the only meals she ever makes. I thought I could taste the chicken in my mouth, making me miss her more knowing I'll never be able to eat that chicken again.

I thought I had only been in the shower for a few minutes, but as I glanced at the steamy clock on the ledge of the counter, I noticed it had been well over an hour. I stood up to get out, but slipped again and let out a screech as the water turned a darker red as pain shot through my leg. Looking down, I saw a huge gash on my leg. I scanned the bathroom hunting for the source that cut me, to see a pair of scissors someone left on the ledge of the tub, now covered in my blood. Now, both my head and leg were bleeding and at this point, I didn't care anymore.

The door flew open as Soda and Two-Bit stood in the doorway breathing heavily. Once they saw me, I looked up with soft eyes as a tear fell down my face, but I didn't move. Soda walked in more and his eyes grew wide as he saw the red water. He screamed to Two-Bit in the doorway to get some towels, while he was shutting the water off.

When Two-Bit came back in the bathroom with the towels, him and Soda pulled me out of the tub and wrapped me in one, another around my leg and another on my head where I was bleeding. He held me tightly against his chest as he sat on the toilet, while Two-Bit paced around the room and the other boys crowded around the doorway. A loud bang echoed through the house, when Dally's face appeared in the front.

"What the hell'd you do to her Sodapop?!" Dally yelled, but before he could get in the bathroom Darry shoved past the boys with a white first-aid box. His eyes widened as he saw the tub was red and so were the towels that were held against my leg and head.

Darry quickly cleaned me up and I got dressed in a pair of Ponyboy's sweatpants and white t-shirt after all the commotion was over and after I explained to them how I tripped and that's how I got the bruises on my face and the new cuts on my body. After getting dressed, I walked into the living room to see Dally on the couch with an angry look on his face. Having my last sniff, he looked at me as I walked over to the couch and sat as far from him as possible. I sat in a ball and held myself tightly, shaking. It may be near Summer, but I was freezing.

"You look pretty beat up there," he said casually, but I could hear him trying to hold back his anger.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Who did that to your face?" He asked.

"No one," I said quietly.

"Hey, what's your problem kid? You were all happy to see me a little while ago and now look at ya!" His voice rose a bit.

"She's dead," I said quietly, inching away.

"I can't hear you!" He shouted.

"She's fucking dead Dallas! And you never came!" I yelled. Looking at him, I could feel the fury in my face as I could feel it turning red from anger. "She wanted to see you! She knew she was dying and she wanted to fucking see you! But you never showed up! You're a coward!" I didn't care what his reputation was around here, he wouldn't hurt me. I knew he didn't want to turn into his dad, who I've seen hit Dally's mom before.

He rose in fury and stood over me on the couch. "Maybe I didn't wanna see her! The old hag didn't even mean that much to me anyhow!" He yelled, he lied.

I stood up angry that he would say such a thing and got in his face. "You're lying! She meant as much to you as she was to me! She was fucking there for you when your dad would hit you and no one else would!" I yelled, knowing that would push his buttons.

"Don't EVER mention that again. Got it?" He said very dark as he got closer to my face.

"Fuck you," I said as I storming out the front door to see Steve outside smoking a cancer stick.

Not caring that he probably hated me, I sat down next to him on the steps leading up to the door. I have never been so angry, hurt, numb and in pain at the same time. I didn't like it. I needed something to calm me down. I looked at Steve to see he hadn't even acknowledged me. Course not.

"Give me one of those," I snarled angrily, not being able to stop myself before the words came out. He finally looked at me, but confused.

"You told me you don't smoke these," He sneered, but it's true. I remember telling him that night at Buck's when he offered me one, but right now, I didn't care. I knew they calmed people down, and I needed to destress.

"Just give me a fucking stick man," I said angrily. He took the pack out of his pocket and gave me one then took out his lighter and lit it for me. We sat in silence outside as I practically inhaled the entire thing in a couple hits.

"Whoa there, calm down," he said pointing to my cancer stick. It was almost to the filter and he had at least three more hits left on his.

"Whatever," I mumbled angrily as I finished it, then put it out in the ashtray, leaving it there.

"Look, I'm sorry 'bout your grandma," He said awkwardly patting me on the back.

"Just leave it," I said, trying to push the thoughts away, but tears began forming in my eyes. I looked up into the night sky to see the stars while also trying to push the tears back. "Ha, you know she was all the family I got left til I met you and Soda, then reunited with Dally. Haven't seen him since I was six. Didn't even know he was here," I laughed at how pathetic my life sounds. "He was my best friend when I was younger, the most loyal person you could ever have 'round," I said. Steve didn't respond as I snorted at myself. "Ha, why am I telling you any of this? I was just your skank for the night," I said as I stood up to walk back in, but before I did, I turned around to see if he moved a muscle, but he didn't.

With that I scoffed and opened the door letting it slam behind me as I made myself comfortable on Darry's chair to sleep.

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**GIVE ME FEEDBACK PEOPLE! GOSHH**


	7. DX Incident

**Here's my new chapter! It's quite long! Give me your opinion people! K. Thanks byeeee.**

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The next morning I woke up to the Mickey Mouse theme song and a loud chuckle from none other than Two-Bit. I grabbed the pillow off the chair and threw it at him.

"Shut up," I muffled into the couch trying to fall back to sleep.

"Well good morning to you too princess," He laughed. I turned to him to stick out my tongue and spat at him, getting another laugh in response.

The shower that was running turned off and I heard trudging coming from the stairs. Turning in the chair, I saw Ponboy with his backpack slung over one shoulder. When he noticed me looking at him, he gave me a slight smile. Looking away, I knew I wouldn't be able to return the look.

There was a little movement I could hear coming from the bathroom, then Soda burst from the steamy room in nothing, but a towel. The way the water droplets dripped from his perfectly chiseled abs, was nothing like I've ever seen. Now I knew why the girls here fawned all over him. He really was gorgeous.

"Has anybody seen my DX shirt?" He asked glancing around the room frantically. As if on cue, Steve burst through the door like a big shot. He looked at me and smirked.

"Nice jacket kid," He snickered. Looking down, I noticed someone's jacket was resting on my body, keeping me warm. My guess was it was Dally's since it was the same brown jacket he was wearing yesterday. "Diggin' the hair too," he teased.

"Sorry we don't all look as 'beautiful' as you when we wake up," I said putting air quotes around beautiful. His face turned dark and his nose flared at my comment. He looked at Soda while I attempted to fix my hair.

"Come on man. We gotta go," Steve said angrily.

"I'm tryin' to find my shirt," Just as the words left Soda's mouth, his blue DX shirt hit him in the face. We all looked in the direction the shirt was coming from to see Darry was the one who threw it. Soda ran upstairs to what I assume was to get dressed while Pony, Steve, Two-Bit and I were all in the front room in silence.

After a couple minutes, someone broke the silence. "What you doing today, Max?" Two-Bit asked me.

"I don't know," I said quietly as I was about to say go visit grandma, but I had to stop myself before tears erupted in my eyes. "Might just walk around," I didn't want to stick around here all day and become a burden, but I couldn't go to my grandma's, I just couldn't face it, not yet.

"Come to the DX with us!" Sodapop's cheerful voice filled the room as he walked back down stairs and stood behind the chair I was on.

"I don't want to get in the way when you guys are at work," I spoke quietly, cuddling myself into Darry's chair even more.

"Or be a distraction," Steve said under his breath so quietly, I don't think anyone else heard, but me. A blush rose on my cheeks as I casually looked over at him.

"Nah! You won't be a bother at all! The place gets rather lonely sometimes with Stevey in the back," Soda explained.

"All right," I said. "You guys head over there and I'll meet you there after I get ready. I don't want you to be late," I said while getting up and adjusting my shirt that was halfway up my stomach.

"See ya soon," Soda said while him and Steve walked out the doorway followed by Ponyboy heading to school.

I walked into the bathroom and stripped. Knowing I had to take the wrap off that Darry put on around my leg, I freaked a bit. I didn't want to see it, but I know I had to. Unwrapping it, I saw the large gash on my leg. It was much more disgusting than I expected. Throwing the dirty gause into the trash, I hopped in the shower.

I turned the water as warm as I could. Because it was early in the morning, there was more hot water than usual. The water was seething hot, but I didn't care. I didn't care 'bout nothing. After shampooing, conditioning and washing my body, I shut the water off and grabbed for the first towel I could find.

The only clothes available for me at the moment, were the ones I was wearing before getting in the shower, so I dressed in them. I opened the bathroom door as I ran my hands through my hair and walked into the living room. Johnny was now joining Two-Bit in watching Mickey Mouse.

"Hey Two, hey Johnny," I said quietly. They both looked at me with sorrow because my voice sounded so sad.

"Gettin' any better?" Johnny asked quietly.

"I'll be okay," I lied putting a small smile on my face. Johnny seemed to have enough on his shoulders, he didn't need my sob stories.

Just as I was about to walk out the door to meet Sodapop, a voice stopped me. "Need anything to eat?" Two-Bit asked.

"No," I quietly mumbled while walking out the door.

When I finally arrived at the DX, there were about two or three cars getting gas and two parked in the gas station probably buying stuff. Walking in, I noticed a bigger lady rummaging through magazines, but no one else. Looking at the cash register, I saw Sodapop talking to a real pretty blonde girl wearing a DX shirt too.

"Hey Soda," I said quietly as I approached the two while the girl was laughing.

"Max!" Soda said with a bright smile on his face. A small smile appeared on my face as I looked down at the ground suddenly interested in my shoes.

"So this is Max huh?" I looked up to see the girl who said that. Her voice was so angelic. It was easy to tell she was a greaser girl, but she didn't look like the rest. She had pin straight blonde hair that fell just above her breasts, with her bangs pinned back on the left side. She had fair skin and was wearing only a small amount of eyeliner, blush and mascara. Everything about her was beautiful. I could only imagine looking as flawless as her.

"Maxy, meet Heather. She works here when Steve and I ain't here," He explained.

"Heard a lot about you. Maybe you can get these boys heads on straight," She said with a laugh at the end.

"I heard that!" Yelled a voice who I'm guessing was Steve.

"Oh shut up!" She yelled back. Turning me she continued talking. "I'm real sorry about your grandma sweetie. If you ever need a girl to talk to, you can always come here," She said with a sympathetic look on her face. I nodded my head not knowing what to say.

She walked to the other side of Soda and grabbed a black purse pulling it to the edge of the counter. Heather took off her DX shirt revealing a black tank top hugging her skinny body just perfectly.

"Well see ya!" She said shoving the shirt into her purse and heading towards the door.

"Goin' to Mitchell's?" Sodapop asked.

"Yeah. He's been giving me a hard time lately, but I'll stick it to him. Show him who's wearing the pants in this relationship," She said waving goodbye as she walked out the door.

"She seems nice," I said while turning to Soda.

"I will never get over how damn fine that chick is. If I were Mitchell, I wouldn't let her out of my sight," I followed the voice to see it was coming from Steve as he was walking out from, what my guess was, the garage. He was wiping his black greased hands on a handkerchief while walking over to us. I felt a pang of hurt as he said that, but pushed it back as a frown entered my face. I looked at Steve to see him smirking at me. "Mind helping me with this carburetor? Fucking car won't start," Steve asked Sodapop.

"Yeah," Soda responded then turned to me. "I'll be right back," I nodded my head at him as he walked into the garage.

I walked over to the newspaper section that was facing the window. The first paper that popped out at me was about a car accident that killed all the passengers. I was reading it when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blue mustang pull up and park. Only seconds later, a familiar boy along with two others walked in the store.

The familiar boy, was the socs I used to somewhat associate with whenever I got drunk. He was a bit violent, especially around his friends. Bryce Clabber was his name. He was about my age with golden locks laying perfectly brushed back on his head and beautiful deep hazelnut eyes. I'm not going to lie, he was a looker, and I've gotten with him before, but only when I was drunk.

"Hey there Maxy," Bryce said grabbing my waist and pulling me into his body, laying a kiss on my lips. He was wearing his usual loafers with a creme shirt on along with a blue sweater and some tan pants.

"Bryce," I started, but he cut me off.

"I wanted to introduce you to my boys," He said smirking a bit.

"That's nice and all, but I have to go," I said slipping out of his grasp, but I felt my shirt being tugged on as he pulled me back a bit.

"You'll go, when I say," He grimaced through his teeth. "Okay?" He added with a smile. Being quiet, I did as he said. "So how you been?" He calmed his figure while putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Okay, you?" I said trying to keep it short.

"Been wondering where you are. You haven't been at Calvin's parties lately. I miss my girl," He said kissing my cheek. He's been getting the wrong messages when I'm drunk.

"Sorry, I've been busy at the gym," I quietly spoke.

"You don't need to go to the gym baby," He said.

His friends were staring at me with suggesting expressions on their face that made me uncomfortable. I heard a noise and looked over to see Soda back at the counter. He gave me a questionable glance, but I had to ignore it. I didn't want Bryce to get mad since Sodapop was a greaser.

"Hey, how's about I take you to my place, have a few shots, have some alone time," he said while smirking at his friends. They laughed at his suggestiveness.

"No, I'm okay," I said while he started walking out the door with me. Prying myself out of his arms, he tugged me back by my wrist.

"It wasn't a request darling. Now let's go," He said, his eyes darkening.

"Bryce, I'm not going with you!" I rose my voice. The words slipped out and before I could apologize, his hand whisked me swiftly to the face making a loud noise echoing through the station. My head was facing the bigger woman and she looked at my sympathetically.

"Let's go Max!" He yelled dragging me out of the store with his boys following behind. One of them hit my ass as we arrived at the car. When the bell above the store went off and I felt a tug on my other arm.

"Let her go!" Soda said. Thank god for Sodapop.

"Hey greaser, back off," Bryce hissed at Sodapop.

"I said, let her go and I ain't goin' say it again," Soda threatened.

"You trying to start something with me grease monkey?" Bryce asked throwing me into the arms of one of his boys as he stepped closer to Soda. The boy whose arms he threw me in gave me a creepy grin showing his overbite.

Soda and Bryce looked at each other testing who would throw the first punch. Of course, it was Bryce. He hit Soda right in the face, but Soda didn't stumble as he threw a quick swing back, catching Bryce off guard. He went to hit Soda in the gut, but Soda swiftly swiveled his body and hit Bryce in the face again. Bryce's entire face turned a beat red while the boy that wasn't holding me went up and grabbed Soda. The two ganged up on Soda hitting him one after another. I tried to break free of overbite boy, but he was much bigger than me, so I did the only thing I could think of.

"Steve! Steven!" I screamed hoping he would hear me, but no one came. "Steven fucking Randle!" I yelled as an enormous hand covered my mouth. I went to bite down on his hand as I opened my mouth to call for Steve again, but came out of no where and hit one guy with the wrench in his hand.

Immediately Bryce and the other guy backed off. Steve didn't hit him hard enough to cause any real damage, just some bleeding and a bruise later on. He stood next to Soda now who regained his stance.

"This is who you're leaving me for Max?! A bunch of no good dirty greasers?!" He yelled getting close to my face.

I was still being refrained by one of Bryce's friends. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I spit in his face. He closed his eyes and made the most pissed off look I have ever seen. The next thing I saw, was a hand heading towards my face, then a ton of pain. Not backing down, I looked right back at him angrily, not breaking the gaze. Bryce eventually gave in, telling his friend to drop me. I walked over to Soda and he laced his hand in mine while Bryce and his buddies got back in the car.

"You're trash! Just like them! Slut!" He yelled while throwing a beer bottle at me. I covered my face as it cracked right by my feet.

After they pulled off, I let go of Soda's hand and walked back into the DX. The big lady was still in there browsing through magazines. "Are you alright?" She asked. "I sent the boy out there as soon as I heard," I sent her a smile.

"Thank you," I said to her when Steve and Soda walked in. I turned to them wanting to go home. "Soda, can I go back to your place?" I asked shyly.

"You're always welcome Maxy, but I don't want you walking there alone," Soda answered. He saw my face fall and he walked over to me and put his arms around me in a comforting hug. "Hows 'bout I call Two-Bit to come get ya?" He offered.

"Please. And thank you out there Soda," I said while stepping on my tip toes kissing his cheek.

About twenty minutes later, Two-Bit arrived with Johnny next to his side, both smoking a cancer stick. I walked outside to greet them and both of their eyes went big once they landed on me.

"What happened?!" Two-Bit asked completely shocked.

"Socs," I said while starting to walk. Two-Bit could tell I didn't want to talk about it and he left it alone.

XXXX

Darry had gotten home a couple hours after Two-Bit and Johnny picked up Ponyboy from school while I stayed at the house and took a nap. Dally got home when I woke up from my nap and once he saw the new bruise forming on my face he flipped, but I managed to cool him down a bit.

Now, everyone was doing their own thing. Two-Bit and Johnny were playing cards while Darry was cooking dinner. Ponyboy had asked me if I could help him with history homework, so we were sitting at the kitchen table as I was explaining the French Revolution to him.

"The king was Louis XVI. He was married to Marie Antoinette and they had four kids," I started, but was cut off by people walking into the house.

"Smells delicious superman!" Someone shouted. I guess Steve and Sodapop were home. They didn't come in the kitchen, so I'm assuming they went in the living room.

After dinner and I finished helping Ponyboy, I started getting sleepy and wanted to change into some more comfy clothes. Walking into the living room, all the guys were playing cards now. "Hey Soda, got anything I can borrow for bed?" I asked.

"Yeah, look in the second drawer and grab a pair," He said while I watched him slide an ace into his sock. I laughed as I walked upstairs and grabbed a pair of boxers.

I went downstairs to change in the bathroom in case any of the guys for some reason walked into Soda and Pony's room. While walking into the bathroom, I walked straight into someone. Looking up, I saw it was Steve. He gave me a blank expression and started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm.

"Hey thanks, for today," I said. He nodded his head.

"You're not a slut Maxy," He said as I stared into his eyes. I never thought a shade of grey, could be so beautiful.


	8. Painting the House

**How bout some reviews guy...? I don't know just a suggestion...**

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It's been a couple days since the accident at the DX station and now I live with Dally. The Curtis's can't afford another person living there and Dally wants me to stay close, at least until I'm less banged up. No, Dally and I do not share a room. Somehow, he convinced Buck of letting me have my own room, but I have no clue how, nor do I want to.

I still haven't managed to muster up the courage to go over to my grandma's house and pack her stuff up. I don't think I ever will. But, I got tired of using the boy's clothes, so Two-Bit and Sodapop offered to go inside and grab mine for me. I gave them my key and the address and they came back with two boxes of clothes and shoes.

Soda has really become like my diary. I come to him for everything and he always jumps at the chance to comfort me. Two-Bit is my cheer up guy. No matter when or how down I get about my grandma, he can always manage me to pull a smile on my face. Johnny still hasn't completely opened up to me, but I don't blame him. I found out his parents beat him, so I'll give him all the time in the world. Ponyboy reads books to me when I'm down or when I just want to hear his voice. Out of all the boys, his voice is the smoothest most comforting, more than Soda. Ole' Darry does things for me and gives me money sometimes, even when I protest to it. He's almost like my dad. And Steve is still Steve, still glaring, still adds his sweet comments here and there, still sits there and listens while I rant about things.

Smoking became my new trend. It calms my nerves down and stop stressing. Most of the time at Buck's I go downstairs and drink some, but Dally always pulls me back upstairs once he thinks I've had enough. I don't mind having him around, I've never had a brother or a father around, so I guess that's what he is to me.

I told Darry that if he ever wants any help around the house, he shouldn't hesitate to ask. Sometimes I end up cooking meals at the Curtis's when Darry comes home too late or is too tired. Once everyone has been fed, we hang out playing cards, watching Mickey Mouse or just talking.

Last night I slept at the Curtis's because I was too tired to walk back home. For the first time, I didn't wake up this morning to Sodapop running around the room at 8am looking for his DX shirt. I threw the blankets off me and whipped my legs over the couch so they were hanging off on the cold floor as I rubbed my face tiredly. I felt a yawn come on and covered my mouth, then walked into the kitchen.

Sitting on the kitchen table was a paper. Curiously, I walked over to it and picked it up as my eyes darted around it to see my name on the top of the page. So this is for me, huh?

Max, Can you please repaint the outside of the house? Just the front. It would be a huge help to me. Two-Bit said he'd help you. There are some clothes on Soda's bed you can wear so you don't get yours dirty.

Thanks, Darry

As I finished the letter, a voice broke through the silence of the house. "Maxy, oh Maxy!" The person taunted. I knew that voice to be Two-Bit's.

"In here!" I shouted. He walked in wearing his usual attire: a muscle shirt, tight blue jeans, cowboy boots and a grass behind his ear. He walked right over to the fridge and grabbed a beer finishing his look.

Looking down, I saw paint brushes, paint cans and other things. "This should be fun," I mumbled, Two-Bit laughing in response. "Hey, can you bring all this shit outside and put the paint in this," I said pointing to the pan. "While I put some other clothes on?" I asked.

"Ohh can I watch?" He joked.

"Harharhar, very funny Two," I said as I started over to the stairs and up them. Walking into Soda and Pony's room, I saw a black t-shirt and a pair of shorts the boys had cut for me when I was staying here.

I threw them on then walked downstairs to see no Two-Bit, so I walked outside just as Two-Bit was pouring the paint in the dish. Turning around, I looked over the canvas we'd be painting on. Wow, I never realized how much paint has been chipping off.

"Let's get this party started!" Two-Bit yelled as I handed him the rolling brush while getting the smaller one for myself. I was using the small one to get in between the cracks and places the rolling one couldn't get.

It had been quiet for the most part as the two of us worked, but of course Two-Bit would crack a joke every once in a while. He grabbed a brush like mine to help me with the small places and cracks after he finished going over it with the rolling brush. The house was almost done, but the heat started becoming unbearable. I tried to not complain, but Two-Bit was a different story; he wouldn't shut up.

"Oh Mr. Sun, please go the away! You want me to die of heat stroke?! I jus' won't live my full life of drinking beer and eating Soda's wonderful chocolate cake," He said dramatically.

"Oh stop being so dramatic," I laughed.

"I am no such thing," He said flinging his hand with the brush to the side and getting paint on my face and clothes.

I gasped surprisingly and backed away. He stepped forward at first with a frown on his face surprised he did that, but he stopped as he opened his mouth, backed up and started laughing really hard. A little anger broke out in me as I flung my paint brush at him making it land in his hair and on his T-shirt. The look on his face was priceless! I burst out laughing and almost fell over.

"So now ya laugh, huh kid?" Two-Bit looked a little enraged now.

Still laughing, I looked through my squinted eyes and now saw a smile cracked on his face. I watched him bend down to the pan of paint, look me right in the eye, and whip his brush at me hitting me with paint on my legs and feet. Good thing I was barefoot. Abruptly, I stopped laughing and looked him in the eyes and narrowed mine.

"It's on Matthews," I said through clenched teeth. Sticking my brush in the paint can about to throw it at Two-Bit, when a voice stopped us. We both promptly turned our heads to see Steve.

"Hey buddy, taking my shift I see," Two-Bit said. The smile on my face disappeared.

Oh dear, we're gonna be alone. I don't know how this is gonna go. Steve barely talks to me, he even glares at me sometimes. Not my fault he got with me when he was with his girlfriend, it's not like I knew.

"What's goin' on here," Steve spoke. His voice made my stomach turn and my heart pound. I don't know why I feel this huge attraction to him, it was one night, not a lifetime.

"Me and our lil Maxy here," Two-Bit said walking over to me putting his arm around me loosely. "Are havin' a paint fight," He said pointing to the obvious. Suddenly I felt something cold traveling down my arm. Glancing down, I saw Two-Bit painting a big white streak on my arm and I quickly pushed him away.

"I am gonna kill you," I said. I was about to throw paint his way, but he was already walking past Steve by the time I looked up.

"Two-Bit!" I screamed. He turned around continuing to walk, with a giant grin on his face.

"Gotta date with Kathy, sorry darlin'," He exclaimed waving back and turning back around to continue walking.

"This isn't over!" I screamed back only hearing his laugh.

My eyes wandered around to the house and saw we just had a couple more spots to do. I looked back over to Steve and realized Soda wasn't with him. Steve walked up to the house, grabbed Two-Bit's paint brush, and began to paint where we left off. Guess Darry told him to help me too. Picking up my brush, I mimicked the movements he was making while we both painted.

"Where's Soda?" I asked, attempting to make conversation. Those two boys are practically attached by the hip. They also come back from work together everyday. I stopped painting and looked at Steve, no answer. "Steve?" I asked, but still no response. "Jesus christ," I mumbled whipping my brush to the side then hearing a gasp. Looking up to find the owner of the noise, I saw paint had gotten on Steve's face, a speck in his hair and a whole lot on his shirt. "Shit." I said.

"Lil missy, you're gonna regret that," Steve said through gritted teeth. Attentively, I watched him slowly pick up the pan with poured paint in it, and in a matter of seconds, I felt liquid hit my legs, arms and part of my neck. Gasping, I looked up at a laughing Steve. Thank god there wasn't a shit ton of paint in that.

"You asshole!" I yelling quickly sticking my brush in the paint can and whisking it at him getting it all over his body and even more in his perfectly greased hair. It was my turn to laugh now.

"You're gonna get it!" He yelled running at me.

Protecting my face in my arms, I felt myself being tackled to the ground. I screamed as Steve and I rolled around on the ground fighting for dominance. My attention wandered to how big his muscles were, when my arms were pulled to the ground and my wrists were pinned. Looking up, I saw anger in Steve's eyes as I tried to get my arms up.

"Not so tough now, huh pretty lady?" He said laughing a sinister laugh. Anger was boiling inside me and I mustered up the strength to flip us over, and now I was pinning his wrists down using all my body weight.

"Damn, you're heavy! Get the hell off!" Steve yelled. That hurt, like a plunge to the heart. I've spent my entire life eating healthy and exercising and the boy that makes my heart flutter and my stomach turn, practically calls me fat.

Tears brimmed in my eyes and I loosened my grip a bit, only for my head to meet the ground hard and for pressure to now be placed on my wrists. A tear slid down my cheek and I sniffed.

"What's your deal Steve?! I haven't done anything to you, ever," I said, trying to hold in the anger that suddenly started to boil over. "My grandma is fucking dead and all you do is be an arrogant pig to me!" He tightened his grip on me as my face got harder. "S'pose you really hate me for coming back into your life, huh?" I breathed in a shaky breath, calming down.

He got off of me and sat where my feet were. Quickly, I sat up and scooted over to him. "I don't hate ya," Steve said quietly, lighting two smokes. He took a drag, then blew it out, handing me the second one.

"I didn't mean to come back into your life after that night. I'm sorry you hate me so much," I spoke quietly, taking a drag. We sat there for a few minutes in silence while we finished our cigarettes; still no answer.

Irritated, I stood up and scoffed as I headed for the door. "I'm so done," I said harshly. I was about to walk in the house, when I felt myself being pushed against the wall harshly.

Whimpering softly, I opened my eyes to see Steve's face only a few inches from mine, his body pressed against mine as held his hand behind my neck. I could smell his cologne mixed with grease, creating an unforgettable smell I loved so much. Him being this close to me, made me so nervous. My breath picked up, my heart raced, I could feel my hands getting clammy and I thought my stomach was going to explode. I closed my eyes afraid what was going to happen next, when I felt his hot breath against my lips. Everything I want, was in this moment. Steve was going to do the unthinkable.

His breath was so hot, it felt like fire seeping onto my lips, making a sensation I have never felt. I opened my eyes to look at his beautiful grey ones. They were so soft now, not hard like usual, they made me melt. His lips had barely grazed mine, when a noise broke us apart.

"What the hell!" A voice yelled. Steve's head moved so I could see behind him, to see Dally, Ponyboy and Johnny. My breath picked up even more, knowing how bad this looked seeing Steve making a move on Dally's cousin.

I maneuvered my body so I was in front of Steve and took a stance, attempting to protect him. I knew Dally would never hit me. Seconds later, my stance was broken away from Steve as Dally roughly moved me. Tears spewed down my face as I watched Dally punch Steve in the face and then stomach.

"Dally! Stop it!" I begged, but he wouldn't listen. He was so protective of me, I knew he could kill Steve if he wanted.

"That's my cousin, you bastard!" Dally yelled as he continued to hit Steve, but Steve didn't even fight back. He knew this would happen. I grabbed onto Dally's shoulder and tried yanking him way, but he was too strong.

"Dallas Winston! Stop it!" I screamed, but was once again ignored. So I ran right in between the two, just barely missing a punch Dally threw. I began pushing Dally away from Steve until he was on a bottom stop.

"Please, don't hurt him. It wasn't what it looked like," I breathed quickly, glancing back quickly at Steve to see how bad of a shape he was in. His nose looked broken and his lip was cut. I'm sure there were bruises all over his body.

"Oh really? Well what was it then?" He commanded. In all honesty, I had no idea what that was or where that came from, but I did know I liked it, a lot. I stayed silent hoping he would leave it alone, but of course not. "That's what I thought," He said violently throwing himself back at Steve, but I pushed him back again.

"There was something in my eye and I asked Steve to look at it," I spoke quickly trying to come up with anything. Dally backed away and a confused look replaced his angry one.

"You're goin' with that Max?" He asked astonished of my stupidity. I nodded my head and he stormed away, giving one last deathly look at Steve as he walked down the street. Glancing over to Ponyboy and Johnny, I saw the confusion on their face as they walked past us and into the house.

I turned back to Steve and saw he was looking down, upset at himself almost. "Let me clean you up," I said quietly, grabbing Steve's hand and forcing him to follow me.

As we entered his house, Pony and Johnny were in the kitchen. Johnny was sitting on a chair with his hands shoved in his pockets and Ponyboy was rummaging through the fridge. I pulled Steve into the bathroom and shut the door, turning around to see Steve sitting on the toilet.

I went into the medicine cabinet, grabbing the first aid kit and pulling it over to where Steve was. Kneeling on the ground, I opened the kit and grabbed gauss and alcohol. I looked up to Steve's injuries. I quickly cleaned him up and in the process of putting the alcohol on the little cuts on his face, he winced in pain.

"I don't need a girl to fight my fights," He forced through the pain.

********"Shut up Steve. Just cause I have boobs doesn't make me less than you," I spoke angrily and that was the end of it. Once I finished, he walked out the door without a second glance and I knew everything was back to how it was before. I would never have what I wanted with Steve.


	9. Smokes

It was finally Saturday, the day all the boys stayed home. Soda, Steve and Darry were all off of work and Ponyboy didn't have school. Weekends is when I hangout with Soda, Two-Bit or Dally. I occasionally hang out with Ponyboy and Johnny, but never five all together.

My eyes blinked open slowly as I let the sunlight shine brightly through my curtains that had holes in them. My head was pounding as I turned over to meet someone's chest. I looked at the cracked clock sitting on my dresser, reading 11:34. I finally got a good nights rest with no nightmares of my grandma's death.

As I was about to get up and brush my teeth, I felt a tug around my waist. I completely forgot Soda fell asleep here last night. I got in a fight with Dally after he caught me dancing on the bar because I was drunk. Soda, Steve and Two-Bit were also there and Soda was the only one who was able to talk me into getting down. Steve smirked at me the entire time as he leaned back in his chair, enjoying the show, giving me more momentum.

"Soda, I don't wanna get down," I said giggling as I looked over to see Steve had been enjoying my dancing.

"C'mon Maxy. This isn't you. Just get down and we can talk about this okay?" Soda bargained with me. The look in his eyes sobered me up a bit, it was hurt. My dancing, was hurting my dear old Sodapop, and that killed me.

Nodding my head, I got down off the bar resulting in multiple boo's coming from all the men at the bar, but before I could get far, Dally grabbed my arm and yanked me right in front of his face. His icy blue eyes turned cold as they glared at me.

"What the hell was that?!" He yelled. "I will not have my cousin be a tramp." He finished.

Putting my hand up to my forehead, I drunkenly gave him a sailor salute. "Iy-iy captain!" I hiccuped and giggled.

"You hear?!" Dally yelled yanking me to look at him. His eyes looked as if they were burning a hole through me.

"Get your dirty paws off me!" I yelled trying to break free of his tight grip, but he yanked me back.

"C'mon Dal, she's just drunk," Soda almost sound like he was pleading Dally to let go of me. The look in his eyes as he glared at Sodapop, seemed as if he was debating whether or not to listen to the middle Curtis boy.

"You disgust me," He said pushing me lightly, making me wobble, but Soda caught me. I watched Dally turn away and go over to the bar. Tears began soaking my eyes.

Pushing myself out of Soda's grip, I shoved my way through everyone and run up the stairs to my room, despite Soda and Two-Bit's pleads for me to come back. I slammed the door shut probably disturbing the couples banging in the rooms next door, and threw myself on the bed. I violently pulled the covers up over my head, making it pitch black, and I sobbed.

I couldn't believe Dally said that to me. My only remaining family. All I wanted to do, was have Dally accept me again, get his approval on me, but I couldn't do that. I was too immature, too broken to be as strong as Dally was. I realize now, when Ponyboy told me Dally spent a lot of time in the cooler, even when he was young, it showed how it broke him and made him hard. He's not the same Dally I adored as a young child.

I was broken out of my thoughts during the climax of my meltdown while calling out my grandma's name over and over, when the door swung open.

"The room is occupied asshole!" I screamed through my sheets, tired of dealing with these nutcases who just fuck anywhere.

The door closed and I went back to my pityfest, when I felt warm arms around my waist. "I said occu-," I said sitting up seeing Soda's face full of sorrow only a couple inches from mine. Not saying anything, I threw myself into his arms and cried for myself, my miserable excuse of a life.

"He didn't mean it, he was just mad," Soda said rubbing my back, pulling me close to him.

"No, he's right. I am a tramp. Throwing myself up there. I'm just a dirty little whore," I sobbed out into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay Maxy. Everyone makes mistakes. Dal won't be mad in the morning," He spoke quietly. His tone almost sounded like he was heart broken.

"I have no one Soda. Dally doesn't ever want me around anymore I think," I whispered into his chest, drifting off into sleep.

For a few minutes, Sodapop didn't respond. I thought he never would as my eyes began getting heavier and heavier. That was until his grip tightened on me and he planted a sweet sorrowful kiss on my temple.

"You got me," He said while my eyes completely shut, and I was pulled into a deep, drunken sleep.

Soda's grip was very tight on me and I wanted some advil too from this killer headache. I began shaking him awake and a few moments later he woke up with a smile plastered on his face as I returned a weak one back.

I pulled away from him and headed into the bathroom connected to my room. After brushing my teeth, I walked back into the other room to see Soda sitting up on the bed rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking out in all different directions. I couldn't help, but giggle at how adorable he looked in the morning.

"What are you laughin' at darlin'?" He asked giving me a confused look.

"Nothing," I mumbled, still laughing at his cuteness.

"Oh, you laughin' at me?" He asked, catching on. Shaking my head I cracked a smile as I bit my lip. He walked into the bathroom and noticed his hair sticking in every direction and came out of the room at looked at me. "You think this is funny?" He asked in a fake serious tone. Nodding my head, I smiled again. "You're gonna get it," He said.

I screeched and ran out the door running down the hallway, only being caught in Soda's arms right away, both of us laughing loudly. "Stop Soda!" I laughed as he tickled my sides. I couldn't help the uncontrollable laughing seeping through my lips, until a figure stood in front of us, and boy did he look pissed.

"What the hell are you doing here Curtis?" His voice was deep and angry sounding as he looked like he just got out of bed too, only wearing his jeans and no shirt. His hair was a bit out of place too, but not as bad as Soda's.

He pulled Soda off of me and pinned him against the wall using his arm under his neck, keeping him pinned. A gasp escaped my lips as I started pulling Dally off.

"Dallas stop it!" I yelled pulling him. It felt like deja vu all over again.

"That's my fucking cousin! I already warned Randle!" You know he was pissed when he was calling his friends by their last names, instead of their first. Soda didn't speak, completely lost for words.

"He stayed with me last night because I needed a friend and you were too busy callin' me a tramp Dallas!" I yelled at him. He stopped and looked at me, loosening his grip on Soda, making him gasp for air. I put my arm around Soda and looked at him making sure he was okay.

"Cause you were actin' like one!" Dally said, raising his voice.

"I was drunk! Get the fuck over it!" I couldn't hold back the anger he was causing me.

Dally opened his mouth to say something, til a scratchy, deep voice broke us up. "It's not even the fucking afternoon Winston. I don't wanna listen to your drama! So shut it or get the hell out!" Buck yelled at us. Even though it wasn't very early, I felt bad for waking him up. He was wearing jeans which weren't even buttoned and a white beater with a plaid t-shirt on top that wasn't buttoned.

"Buck, I'm so sorry. We were just finishing," I apologized and glared at Dally. Buck's only response was a wave of the hand at us, groaning, and walking back downstairs. Dally glared at Soda a little longer, but gave in, retreating back to his room.

Impulsively I looked Soda over. "Soda, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He nodded his head and got quiet. "C'mon don't let that dick get to ya," I said with a smile, receiving a small one back just as my stomach growled.

"I'm sure Darry's got some breakfast if you wanna head over there," He scratched his head and I thought I almost saw a blush on his face.

"Yeah. Thanks Sodapop," I smiled while walking into my room grabbing some clothes. It was a black tank top with jean shorts and some navy blue suspends, just because I felt like it.

Soda entered the room, so I walked into the bathroom to change. As I pulled the shorts up, I noticed some bruises on my legs that weren't very faint. Sighing, I hooked the suspenders on, leaving one said off my shoulder. I slipped my socks on and walked into my room to put my black converse on.

"All right, let's go," He stood up and nodded his head as we walked to his place.

On the walk there, I could tell he was freaking out a bit. I knew it was because Darry was probably freaking out about where Soda was. I bet Darry thought Soda was dead on the street or near death in some alley beaten. I comfortingly grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed it receiving a look from him, but all I did was smile.

Once we got back, Darry was at Soda's throat. "Boy! Where the hell have you been?! I couldn't even call the cops or you and Pony would'a been thrown in a boys home!" He bellowed loudly, scaring me a bit.

"I-I, Dar stop-," His stutter was bad and I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd calm down, but I didn't see that happening anytime soon.

"Darry he was with me," I admitted. Everyone in the room was watching us now. I'm sure this didn't look too good. Steve's eyes felt like they were burning holes in my head once I saw his eyes dart to mine and Soda's hands. Darry gave me a flabbergasted look and I immediately corrected myself. "No, not because of that! I got in a fight with Dally and Soda stayed to comfort me," I explained, seeing Darry's look lighten.

"Next time call us, got it," His voice was very strong. I could tell he was letting Soda off easy, but I could understand where Darry was coming from.

"Dar, I'm sorry I didn't call. It won't happen again," Soda said as Darry nodded his head and walked back into the kitchen.

After a quiet breakfast at the Curtis's, I decided to go on a walk. I needed some smokes anyways. I told the guys I'd be back just as Dally entered the house. He gave me a mean glare while walking right past me, bumping me in the process. I rolled my eyes as I walked down the street.

On my way to the nearest convenient store, I passed a park I used to play at when I was younger. Yeah it was on the greasers side, but I didn't mind. I didn't fit in anywhere anyway. While looking at the swings a replay of my grandma and I played over in my head.

"Grandma, he was so mean to me!" I cried as she rubbed my small eight year old back. "He called me ugly!" She stayed silent, letting me get all my tears out.

"Sweetheart, you're not ugly. He's just mad because you're too pretty for him," She gave me a smile while I looked over at the young brown haired boy. "As you go through life, boys will come and go. They'll be mean and you'll be mean to them. It's just a way of growing up. Don't let him get you down, boys are never worth your precious tears," A smile appeared on my face.

Tears settled in my eyes as I thought of her. It still hadn't hit me that she was gone. It even took a while to sink in my parent's death. Their death ruined me. My grandpa's death was more hurt and even though he was a drunk, he still treated me like his little princess. He was strong, coming out of war. And my grandma's death was the last straw. The last bit of hope I had going.

Even though I have Dallas, he'll never compare to the family that was there throughout my entire life. Dallas isn't even the same Dallas that I knew as a kid anymore. He's stone cold hard and mean now.

I finally arrived at the store and found some kids in the back that looked a bit off their rockers as they 'admired' the food. Grabbing the pack of blue camels, I walked up to the middle aged man and paid for it with a smile. As I was about to walk out, the boys psted me over to them. They looked harmless seeing as they were skinny, no muscles and only a couple inches taller then me, so I walked over to them.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

"Out back, do this," The boy with longish brown hair, about my height said as he pulled out a green substance. I knew exactly what it was and I pulled his hand down, looking around making sure no one saw and the boys laughed.

"Let's go," I said wanting to forget my grandma, my family, Dallas and Steve for a bit. They high fived me and we walked out to the alley behind the building, and lit it up.

After a couple rips on their joint, I could the effects take place. I started sweating as the heat became warmer and warmer. My head felt like it was spinning on my shoulders, giving me this amazing light headed feeling. All I wanted to do was laugh.

"I'm Craig," Said the boy who asked me to smoke with them out back.

"Max," I said giggling as I was passed back the joint. The other two were Sid and Shawn. Sid was a bit taller than the other two and had these big round glasses on his face with a mop of brown hair on his head. Shawn was a little taller than myself with frizzyish brown hair and a barely visible scar above his left eyebrow.

After another joint, I told the guys I had to leave and I'd see them around. I knew I was going to have a difficult time getting back to the Curtis's house because my head felt hollow, but as long as I didn't bump into anyone on my way home, I'd be okay.

Of course, luck wasn't on my side. I knew I was only a couple blocks from the house, when my train of thought was pulled off the tracks be a hood looking fellow. "Hey there pretty lady," He said catching up to me along with two guys behind him. His hair was tightly greased back and he had stubble all along his chin, giving him a five o'clock shadow. I didn't even care to look at the guys behind me.

"Hi," I said very ditsy like.

"Lookin' to have a good time?" He asked getting closer to me, making me feel uncomfortable. I tried moving away from him, when I felt a guy appear on my other side, blocking me in between the two.

"No," I said giggling. "Just looking for my house!" Cheer broke through my voice, although that wasn't what I wanted at all.

"Well I can take you to mine," He offered, slinging his arm around me.

"No, no. I just wanna get home!" I said happily, skipping a bit.

"It wasn't a request darling," His dark cackle made me stop dead in my tracks as Bryce's voice echoed through my head as he had said the same words. I tried to clear my head of the cloudiness, but I couldn't. I sluggishly pulled his arm off of my shoulder, but he threw it back on.

"Stop," I said tipping over.

"We'll have a good time, then you and Brian, then you and Will," He said creepily, pulling me the the other direction.

"No! Stop it! Leave me alone!" I said trying to stop swaying, but he put his hand over my mouth as I started screaming. My fucked up mind decided it was a good idea to bite his hand, but all it got me was a slap, making me land on my ass in between all three boys.

"Crazy fucking bitch!" But before he could say anything else, he was knocked out cold, and the other three boys ran. Not even looking up, I slowly covered my body with my hand.

"I'm not up for grabs," I said barely getting the words out, scared, high and dizzy along with the burning feeling on my face.

"C'mon kid, get up," The person said, giving me a hand. Instead of taking it, I stood up myself, leaning a bit over to the side too much, but was caught by someone and giggled.

"Ha oopsie!" A girlish laugh escaped my lips as I looked up to see Tim Shephard and I gasped. "You," I said slowly.

"Oh god, you're blazed off your ass. You headin' to the Curtis's?" He seemed a bit concerned, but I doubted it. I mean, I knew only a few people smoked that stuff, but damn, did I feel good after. I felt free of guilt, remorse, and sadness for the first time since before my parents died. Based on Tim's reaction though, I'm positive he doesn't smoke that stuff.

Nodding my head, he put his arm around my waist and helped me walk to the Curti's without falling over. When we arrived at the house, Sodapop and Steve were sitting on the front steps, both smoking a cancer stick.

"Some girl you got here Sodapop," Tim spoke as Soda and Steve snapped their heads up at us.

That's when I remembered the cigs I had just bought. "Oh! My sticks!" I said as I dragged them out of my pocket, almost as if they were too heavy for me. I started hitting them against my hand putting a lot of effort into it to get all the tobacco evenly in the sticks, but it wasn't happening.

"Damn, just give me those!" They were snatched out of my hands by Tim who pounded them quickly against his palm, opened them, then handed the pack back to me.

"Why thank you kind sir," I said bowing, receiving a chuckle from him. Once I stood up, I put a grass in my mouth and held it there, as if it were going to light itself, but it didn't.

"Jesus," I heard when there was a flicker of fire in front of my cigarette and I smoked it blissfully. Tim walked me up to the steps as Sodapop pulled me into his arms.

"What's wrong with her?" Steve sneered.

"My guess, is she's high off her ass," He said while waving goodbye to the boys and walking away.

"I need something soft!" I protested. Looking at the boys, I saw disappointment in Soda's eyes, but anger in Steve's. "Hey you!" I pointed at Steve. "Why you mad at me?" I asked lousily, as he stood up, reaching about a head taller than me. "Whoa, ha you're tall," I said winking at him.

"You're gonna fuck yourself up if you smoke that stuff," He sneered at me.

"Hey big guy, it's my life. So hush up," I said while walking into the house. For the first time, I saw the couch empty and ran to it, collapsing then laying on my back staring at the ceiling while smoking my cigarette.

"What the hell was that?" I heard Darry yell while walking into the room.

"Oh why hello Darryl," I said while still looking at the ceiling. "You should paint clouds on the ceiling!" I suggested.

"What the hell," He said as Sodapop walked in.

"She should be glad Dally ain't here to see her like this, or she'd be dead," I gulped at the sound of that coming from Sodapop's lips. But I was too intent focusing on the clouds that should be on the ceiling, then to care.


	10. Hanging out

The party wasn't very loud seeing as it was just starting up, but I could hear mumbled voices under the floorboards coming from downstairs. It's been days since I've left my room, embarrassed, hurt, guilty and mostly disappointed in myself. Dally found out what happened, not because of the gang, but it was around town. He came in the day after it happened and yelled at me telling me I was stupid and a brat.

It felt like time was closing in on me. Like I was counting down the minutes, the seconds, til it was all over. I have no one. Nobody has come and talked to me, no one has said a single word to me.

Laying in my bed day and night, engrossed by my sheets, I hadn't moved. I stare at the glass of water all day until I get tired and go to sleep. I might be taking this way out of proportion, but I've never felt so stupid and ashamed. If my grandma were here, she would be disappointed in me like I've never seen her before.

Sitting in a ball looking at my tan sockmonkey looking socks, there was a knock at my door, but I didn't move an inch. The person obviously didn't give a care that I hadn't answered the door as they walked in then closed the door after them. Still not looking up, I felt them sit next to me on the bed and sigh.

"How ya been?" Said the sweet voice I've missed. I still hadn't answered, but they didn't leave. "Maxy, you gotta get over what happened. It wasn't that bad," He continued.

I stood up and walked away from him, looking out the window not caring that all I was wearing was socks and a big sweater I found, no shorts.

"It was humiliating," The street was clear of cars and the street light was flickering on and off.

"Hang out with me tonight," It wasn't really a question more like a suggestion almost.

I stayed quiet while looking out the window, when I felt his hands on my shoulders. Looking more clearly into the window, I focused on the two bodies touching rather than the street. He was wearing his typical plaid button up, but unbuttoned, with a white t-shirt underneath and jeans with his ripped up white converse.

"Come to the Dingo with me, I want to take ya out for a bite," He urged on.

"Soda, I don't want to go out," I snapped at him quietly. Stilling looking at our reflections, I saw his hand travel down my arm to my hand and cover mine with his while resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Please Maxy," Looking back at our reflections, I could see his eyes sadden with my continuous no's, so I gave in, no longer being able to refuse his puppy dog face, plus I was starving.

"Okay," I said turning away and grabbing some real clothes and walking into the bathroom. I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a hoodie with my white tank top and a pair of Ponyboy's old converse he gave to me cause they were too small on him.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Sodapop sitting on my body fiddling with his thumbs. "Let's go," He shot up at the sound of my voice and followed me out the door.

People stared at us because they thought Sodapop and I did the deed upstairs in my room. The girls glared at me while the guys either ignored us or gave Sodapop a look. Soda caught up to me and put his hand on the lower of my back while we walked out the door. I caught Dally's eye while we walked out the door. He was in a compromising position with some slutty looking blonde, but still took the time to glare at us.

Ignoring him, we walked out the door and I stopped not seeing Soda's car. "Aren't we takin' the car?" I asked.

"It's nice out, I thought we could walk," He said next to me. Nodding my head, we started our half mile walk to the Dingo. I didn't mind it, I needed the exercise anyways. The walk was silent, a bit awkward, but very content.

Once we got there, a girl who looked about my age, walked over to us. She was real pretty. Her hair was dirty blonde and was almost pin straight except the small wave on the bottom. Her hair was mid chest and very silky looking. She had green eyes that were beautiful in the light of the Dingo. She was short and skinny; not very built.

"Hey Sodapop!Wwho's the lady?" She asked.

"Max, she's Dallas's cousin," He answered with a smile on his face. At least he didn't hate me.

"So this is Max, huh? Two-Bit's talked 'bout ya a bit. Said you and Dally just reunited after your umm grandma-," She stuttered not exactly sure how to say it while trying to be polite.

"It's fine," I said quietly looking down.

"But umm I'm Kathy, Two-Bit's girl," She flashed me Two-Bit's ring on her finger showing their relationship. The thought of Steve and I being like that flashed through my mind, but I quickly pushed it out. I gave her a small smile as she lead us to our seats.

Soda and I scooted into a booth, sitting across from each other. "She's real pretty," I stated, not even realizing I said it out loud.

"Yeah, Two-Bit's got a good one. Better not hurt her though, she's a nice girl," Soda said agreeing with me. I nodded my head as Kathy came back over, ready to take our orders.

"What can I get for ya Pop?" She asked. I'm assuming she was talking to Sodapop.

"I'll get a double burger. Max?" Soda ordered.

"Umm, I'll get a cheeseburger," I shot her a smile as my stomach growled, making chuckles erupt from the two in front of me. Kathy walked away with a nod and finished scribbling down Soda's order.

After she was gone we sat in silence for a while until I felt Soda looking at me. I glanced up to see him looking at me with a nervous look, making me respond with a confused one. "You look like you haven't eaten in days," He spat out. "Why?"

"Didn't feel like it," I said trying to hide in my hoodie while my stomach erupted with another growl. I felt so sick from not eating for this long.

"That's not good," The sadness in his voice made me look at him, making me regret it immediately. His face made me melt right into the seat. His green eyes lost their sparkle while a happy smile no longer danced along his face.

"I'm eating now, so don't worry about it," I said just as Kathy walked up with our food. Just as she set Soda's burger down and walked away, he picked it up and took a huge bite. I couldn't help but laugh at his quickness of scarfing down the burger.

"Take a bite," He urged on with a full mouth of food. Picking up my burger, I took a bite giving Soda a satisfying grin on his face.

My grandma used to give me that same look of satisfaction every time she would see me starting to eat normal. I admit, I had a history of terrible eating diets. It would scare her when I would get so pale from the little food I would eat, or the poor nutrition I was getting making me sick every night. It was almost the same look she gave me when the doctor announced her going home. I knew a hiccup of flashbacks would occur.

This time, I couldn't push them. My grandma's death flooded back to me. The happiness in her voice while singing "Amazing Grace" was suddenly the only sound in my head, echoing eerily. Next, my screams covered the noise of her voice, making me feel nauseous.

I could feel my stomach starting to turn and I knew exactly what was coming next. Pushing the table further away from me to give me more room, I threw my burger down and sprinted into the bathroom trying to hold in the burger bite I just swallowed. I violently shoved the bathroom door open and slammed open the first stall door I saw and ran over to the toilet. Before I could even kneel down, I threw up; at least I made it into the toilet. Well, there goes my food.

I leaned with my back against the wall as tears flooded my eyes. My blood curdling screams filled my ears. Every time I blinked, my grandma shaking rapidly on the bed appeared. Moving my head back over the toilet again, I threw up whatever else was in my stomach. I felt an arm on my back as I wiped off the vomit left on my face on some toilet paper.

I curled into the arms of the person I knew to be Sodapop and cried. I knew my tears were being soaked into Soda's t-shirt, but I didn't care. I balled up his shirt as I made fists, clinging to him like if I let go, my life was over. We sat there like that for a couple minutes while he rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

"Do you want to come back to my house and calm down?" My heart skipped a beat and I knew he noticed. "The boys are at Buck's and Darry is probably still at work," Darry has been working late hours lately to help catch up with the bills. I nodded my head as Soda helped me up and out of the bathroom, paying Kathy on the way out.

Once we got outside, I felt cold drops of water fall onto my skin. Rain. I loved rain, but not so much anymore since it was raining the night my grandma died. I shook as the cold drops landed on my face. I snuggled into Soda's side while walking, trying to keep warm.

Although rain was no longer my favorite thing, I couldn't resist a good puddle to jump in. As we were walking down the street, I saw a huge puddle in the middle of the road. Pushing Soda off of me, I ran over to and jumped into it, letting the water splash onto my jeans, soaking my pants. I looked ahead and saw another puddle that I leapt forward into.

Soda's laugh echoed off the quiet streets. "What are you doing?" He asked. I'm guessing he thought I was a lunatic. I screamed and twirled at the same time until I got dizzy and fell over, wetting my entire body now. Soda gasped and ran over to me and helped me up.

"Are you okay?!" He asked looking over my body. I nodded my head while smiling and looking up at him. His hands were still in mine as we stared deep into each others eyes. I could stare at his for hours.

"Ya know, ya really are beautiful," Soda said staring intensely at me. I looked down attempting to hide my blush, but it wasn't much of a success. I felt his finger under my chin, redirecting my face to look back at him. He put his thumb on my right cheek and stroked it softly and reassuringly. I knew in this moment, that everything would be okay as long as I had Soda.

I smiled up at him receiving a smile back from him. Suddenly, there was a loud thunder bouncing off the streets, breaking the moment. I looked up at the sky, to see the lightening making thunderbolts, it was so beautiful.

"C'mon, it's getting pretty bad outside," I said to Soda. He nodded his head while we walked hand in hand back to his house.

Once we arrived, I called out names, getting no responses for any of them. I guess they all were still out even though it was almost 11 by the time we got back to the house. I told Soda I would be right back and headed upstairs to change into one of the guy's clothes. I grabbed Ponyboy's pajama pants he never wears, and one of Soda's sweatshirts. I didn't realize I was shaking until I was holding myself tightly, trying to keep warm.

I came back downstairs, to hear the shower running. Not seeing Soda anywhere in sight, I'm assuming it was him in the bathroom.

Wandering around the house not knowing what to do with myself, I came upon an old piano I never noticed before. I wonder if I can still play. When I was younger, my parents forced me to take piano lessons. They wanted me to have some musical arts in my life.

I found the piano bench under the piano and pulled it out, sitting on it. Opening the piano top, I saw that all the keys were covered in dust. I couldn't help, but chuckle at how poorly the boys take care of it. Bending down to the height of the piano, I blew on all the keys quickly, getting rid of all the dust. Placing my fingers on the C chord and C octave, I began playing a tune I had heard while watching a play with my parents when I was younger.

I remember it was a few days before my parents died. We were in the car on the way to see my favorite play, "After the Fall". I've seen it at least four times. Every time the show was in town or close to it, I would beg my parents to take me. The play was about a man who looks over his life to see if he should marry his new found love. Something about it captured my mind, even as a child.

The song I was now playing on the piano, was the song playing when Maggie dies. It's a sad yet beautiful song that just struck a chord in one's heart. As I hit the last note, I heard clapping coming from nearby. Looking up, I saw Soda standing against the doorway listening to me.

"That was real pretty," Soda said walking over to me and wrapping a tighter grip around my shoulders.

"Thanks," I said as memories of my parents death came back.

"Wanna stay the night? I'm sure you don't wanna walk back to Buck's in this weather," He offered.

I nodded my head while we walked up the stairs into Soda and Ponyboy's room. I walked a few feet in and heard the door close, being swept away by the darkness. Suddenly, I felt arms around my waist as I laid down in the bed.

His body left the bed, then returned in boxers and nothing else. Once my eyes adjusted and moonlight was all I had, I could see his figure perfectly outlined and his eyes shining in the light. His arms found their way around my waist again as I turned to face him in the bed.

"Soda, I just wanna say thanks," I spoke.

"For what?" I could tell he was confused.

"For being here for me when no one else is," After the words left my mouth, the room was silent. I could barely see Soda's eyes now, but next thing I knew, his lips enveloped mine. They were so soft, but not the lips I wanted. Soda was perfect in every way possible, but I would always want Steve and I don't know why.

I pushed him away quickly, still shocked. "S-Soda, I-I'm sorry, but I can't do this," I felt his body weight disappear as he leapt to the edge of the bed. I knew I hurt him. I crawled over to him, but didn't touch him, scared of rejection.

"Please don't be mad at me," I begged, but he didn't answer. Standing up, I couldn't stop the tears that suddenly poured from my eyes as I knew, I most likely lost my best friend and the only person I have left.

I walked out of the room and shut the door quietly, deciding I was going to walk back to Buck's. Once leaving the front door, I was already soaked head to toe. Cuddling into Soda's sweater, I could smell him. The smell I had loved of his aftershave and grease.

After almost forty-five minutes of walking, I finally made it to Buck's. Walking in, I ignored everyone's looks, running up to my room and slamming the door. Not even changing, I collapsed into my bed and cried myself to sleep at the final straw of losing everyone. Everything would not be all right now.

* * *

**So?! What do you think!? Some feedback would be much appreciated...**


	11. The Last Lollipop

The next morning, I woke up to people fighting. I couldn't distinguish the voices because of how tired I still am. Dragging myself out of bed, I tripped trying to fight my covers for ownership of my legs, ending up falling with a loud thud. The yelling stopped, but not for long since it continued only seconds later. Huffing, I yanked myself up off the ground and opened my door to see Dallas yelling at Sodapop. No one ever yells at Sodapop. What the fuck is going on?

"Hi?" I asked getting their attention. They both turned to me and shut up. Dally had a glare on his face that softened a bit when he looked at me, while Soda looked upset and looked like a mess. "What's goin' on?" I asked wiping the mascara off my cheeks from all the crying last night.

"Curtis was just leavin'," Dally snarled, looking back at Soda and piercing a hole through his head. He must've done something really bad to make Dally that mad. I never would imagine Dally yelling at Soda, but here it was, happening right before my eyes.

I glanced back at Soda, and saw a frown on his face and it almost looked like he was crying then he turned away and left. That was the last time I've seen him in two weeks.

*2 weeks later*

My head thumped and I felt sick. Throwing my sheets off me, I sprinted into the bathroom and thankfully made it to the toilet in time to upchuck the alcohol resting in my stomach. After throwing up a couple more times, I felt somewhat better. I peered into the mirror to see my hair in a ball on my head, my shirt and shorts off, just in my bra and underwear, and some black makeup all around my eyes.

Sighing, I walked back into my room trying to brush my hair with my fingers, when I saw a body sit up in my bed ending with me shouting. Shooting up from my bed, was a guy I've never seen before. He looked like he was in his twenties, around Darry's age, with honey blonde hair on his head and stubble all along his jawline. He had no shirt or pants on.

After my scream, my head began pounding harder and I got even more dizzy. Holding my head, I noticed the guy looking at me. I really hope we didn't sleep together. I've never had sex with anyone because I was saving it for someone special, not some scumbag I hooked up with because I was horny and drunk.

"Did we have sex?!" I exclaimed loudly.

"Nah babe, but I know you'd be a good lay," He said licking his lips while looking me up and down. I grabbed a towel I saw sitting on my dresser and tried to cover my body with it as much as I could. For a few more moments we stared at each other, me embarrassed and angry, him horny.

"Well get out!" I yelled. He did what I said, collecting his clothes and leaving the room.

I really hope Dally didn't see him, but that was never my luck. I heard a smash and then my name being yelled. Not even bothering to get dressed, I walked into the hall to see Dally throwing the guy down the stairs and telling him he better not come back. I ran over to Dally to push him off the guy, all of us at the top of the stairs. Dally looked like he was about to kill, so I shooed the guy down the stairs and away.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?!" Dally yelled at me once the guy was gone. I felt his eyes burning a hole through me.

"Dal, I don't even remember last night," I said, my head hurting more as I held onto it.

"Well maybe if you didn't get shitfaced ya would!" He hollered at me. I felt everything go black a bit, but forced myself to keep intact.

"Leave me alone Dal!" Yelling back wasn't the best thing as my mind began shutting off and the next thing I saw, was the stairs, and then black took over my eyesight.

XXXX

When I woke up, I wasn't at Buck's and all I saw was white. White walls, white chairs, white sheets, white pillows. I felt like I was staring at the sun it was so blinding. In the chair next to me, were two people sleeping and snoring away on either side of me. I felt someone's hand in mine and followed the arm to see none other than Two-Bit asleep. I pulled my hand out of his hoping he would wake up, which he did.

Once he saw me awake, he sat up in the chair. "Darlin' I'm glad you're alright. How ya feelin'?" He asked with worry in his eyes.

"What happened?" I sounded so groggy. I tried to sit up, but felt a rush of dizziness take over my body and shrunk back into my bed.

"Hangover gone wrong bud," He said. I went to wipe the hair out of my eyes and saw my wrist wrapped up. A questionable look covered my face when I knit my eyebrows together. "Ya sprained it on the way down," He answered.

Just then, the doctor walked in and it just so happened it was the same doctor my grandma had. Great. Whoop-de-fuckin-do. The door was a bit loud waking up my other guest. It was Dally. Before the doctor could open his mouth, Sodapop walked into the room and closed the door, waiting to hear what the doctor had to say, but he refused to make eye contact with me.

"Hey Ms. Bryant. Nice seeing you again," His words were kind, but I knew it was fake and I wasn't in the mood for fake at the moment. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him my million dollar glare the one and only Dallas Winston taught me.

"Can't say the same," I mumbled. He looked up at me with sympathetic eyes, but I knew he was just pulling an act. He didn't give a damn about me.

He shrugged it off quickly though. "I have a few questions to ask you," He stared. I gave him a face saying continue asshole. "Have you been drinking heavily lately?" He asked.

"Yeah, so?" I noticed Soda's face fall even more after hearing that.

"For how long?" The doctor asked.

"I don't fucking know. Like two weeks or somethin'," I responded. Dally looked at me like I'm so stupid kid, but I knew he was looking at me like that because he cared. After all, we were the only family members we had left, well in his case that gave a rats ass about him.

The doctor looked disappointed, but who was he to judge me. Its his fault my grandma is dead anyway. "Have you been drinking lots of water?" He asked. I raised my eyebrows at him and shook my head once, only to hear a sigh. "Well, the reason your hangover was so bad this morning was because you haven't been drinking water to clear out the old alcohol so continuing to drink, all the alcohol built up in your system. You should be lucky we didn't have to pump your stomach," He explained.

I really wasn't in the mood to hear this bullshit. I didn't care what happened to me anymore. Dally is always disappointed in me, I lost my best friend, I have no friends really, and my entire family is dead.

"Great, now that you've found a problem with me, I'll be leaving now," I said in a bitchy tone as I started moving to get out of the bed to see I was in a hospital gown. No wonder I felt so loose.

The doctor sighed again and I shot him a look saying he was close to getting slapped. "As long as someone is watching you to make sure you don't drink a lot for about a week, you'll be fine," He said sympathetically, but I didn't need his sympathy.

"And my wrist?" I snapped at him as he looked through his chart.

"You can take the wrap off in a week too and you'll be good as new," A fake smile was plastered on his face. "And I'm so sorry for your loss," The smile was completely erased from his face and replaced with a frown.

"Drop dead asshole," If only my glare could kill. He walked without another glance, leaving Sodapop, Dally and Two-Bit in my room.

It wasn't silent for very long because Dally spoke up. "Hear that cous," He snarled emphasizing 'cous', "No drinking. Got it?" He warned.

"Sorry I got problems _cous_," I mocked him. He glared, but I knew he was just trying to take care of me. Honestly I wasn't interested. I can take care of myself.

"Brought ya' clothes," Dally said pointing to the chair near the door with a pair of shorts and a T-shirt sitting on it along with my bra that someone must've taken off me and put there when I was checked in here. Saying thanks he walked out followed by Soda and Two-Bit, allowing me to change into my clothes before I went home.

Sighing, I stood up slowly trying to regain the strength I didn't have from the alcohol abuse. I took a few steps towards the chair, when I got a dizzy spell and fell, clutching the chair as hard as I could. Continuing to walk, another dizzy spell hit me, but instead of grabbing something, arms caught me. Looking behind me, my eyes met Steve's. What in the world was he doing here? He didn't give to shits about me.

I shook him off determined to reach my clothes that were sitting on the chair against the opposite wall near the door. I peered back at him to see his hands dug deep into his pants pockets while he looked at the ground with sadness covering his face. Maybe he did care.

Shaking the thought off, I eventually got to my clothes. Looking back again, I saw Steve sitting in the chair next to the bed I was just in, looking intently at me. "Don't look, okay?" I asked. He nodded his head and I turned around, hoping he actually didn't watch.

Untying the lace on the back of my neck from the hospital grown, it slipped off, leaving me in nothing except my underwear. Sighing, I bent down and grabbed my shorts and slipped them on feeling a bit dizzy still. Everything became a bit fuzzy, but a second later I was okay. Picking up my bra off the chair, I put the straps on and tried hooking it together when the room started spinning. This time, I did collapse on the floor with a groan only to have my bra hooked on one hook, not both.

"Fuck," I mumbled under my breath.

"Need help?" Said Steve semi raspy, yet soothing voice. I whispered yes and he walked over to me, helping me up and turning me towards him. "Y-you look so skinny," His face was filled with shock.

"That's what happens when all you do is drink and don't eat," I said angrily turning around and pointing to my bra strap.

Moments later, his soft fingers brushed my blonde hair to the side to get it out of the way. The second his fingers met my skin, shivers went up my spine, sending goosebumps all over my body while his cold fingers adjusted my bra. Once I heard the click of the bra, I turned around and picked up the shirt I guess I dropped it on the floor when I fell.

"This too?" I asked quietly and innocently. It was like I was the cute little kid who so desperately craved that giant lollipop her parents wouldn't get her, yet she would do anything for it.

Steve nodded his head as I put my arms in the air and he slipped the shirt over my head and my arms into the armholes. Once the shirt was on, our eyes met, both of us staring deeply into one another's eyes. I didn't realize what was happening until I felt my back hit something hard and my legs were wrapped around Steve's waist. His hands found their way on my ass as he kissed me with more passion and lust than I've ever felt.

I would say sparks flew, but that would be cheesey. But in all seriousness, I felt a connection with Steve. It was like if I let go, I would lose my breath and be pulled into an endless pit underground, never to be seen again.

My fingers laced through his hair and I tugged, hearing a pleasant moan from Steve as I also bit his lip. I tightened my arms around his neck and clung to him, like he was the last lollipop in the store. His lips were so soft, nothing I've ever felt before, nothing compared to Sodapop's. Steve's lips were like heaven. I never wanted to stop this kiss, but I knew it was too good to be true.

The kiss was broken and I was dropped when there was a loud knock on the door. "C'mon Max. Hurry up!" Dally's voice thundered through the door.

"Almost done!" I shouted back, still tangled with Steve's body. There was a loud grunt, then his loud footsteps became quieter as he walked away.

I looked back at Steve with wide eyes, not believing that happened. He wanted it to. He was sober this time around, unlike the first time. But then Evie's face popped into my head. I was the other woman. Steve loved Evie, not me. He was using me to cheat on Evie and I've never felt so betrayed. I don't participate in cheating from either party. It is completely wrong and I wouldn't want to be the reason people broke up, or be the one getting hurt.

Pushing myself off of Steve and down the wall back to the floor, I opened the door and despite what I should've done, I looked at Steve to see him still in a daze, but looking at me.

"That can never happen again," My voice filled the room as strong as I wanted it to be.

* * *

**Ohhhh! Did you guys see that happening? I'm sure ya did :/ just wait it'll get better. I promise!**


	12. A Movie House Stroll

It's only been a couple days since my visit to the hospital and that thing with Steve, but every time I'm around him or the thought of him goes through my head, my heart races and my mind goes back to that kiss. I can't get it out of my head. It wasn't our first kiss and I wouldn't count our actual first kiss as our first kiss. Neither times did it mean something, only the kiss that means something to the both of us, will be our real first kiss.

I still don't eat much, but just enough to get by. I don't have a job and Darry can't afford to keep feeding me. So I get scraps. I'm going to try and get a job soon because I need to start supporting myself. I'm old enough anyways. I'll probably apply at the Dingo or something, it's one of the only places I know.

I woke up earlier than normal because I promised Ponyboy I would walk him to school today. I decided I rather get up early and sleep at my house than the embarrassment of staying at the Curtis's and having to face Steve and Sodapop when I woke up.

After completely waking up, I walked into the bathroom and shut the door, taking my clothes off and throwing them into the corner after turning the shower on. I noticed the bruises on my body from the past fight, were fading away and almost gone. After finishing my shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and walked into my room, grabbing my clothes. I slipped my shorts and shirt on, rolling the sleeves up one quarter of the way. Only having a few more minutes to get ready, I grabbed a couple bobby pins and pinned back my side bangs, leaving the rest of my hair wet and untouched. I put a bit of eyeliner and mascara on, finishing my look.

Grabbing a black hoodie of mine, I sprinted out the door, rushing over to Ponyboy's house. Thankfully since it was too early, only a little after 7 o'clock, I hadn't run into any Socs.

Walking into the familiar house, I smelled eggs and saw Sodapop running around with no shirt on and only his jeans, most likely looking for his DX shirt. His eyes met mine and he stopped, but only for a moment, then continuing to run around looking for his shirt. I looked at the couch and only saw Steve sitting there with his legs wide open leaning into the couch, watching Mickey Mouse, eating his chocolate cake. Our eyes met, but only for a moment because I walked into the kitchen to see Ponyboy finishing making an egg. Darry wasn't in sight, so I guess he already went to work.

"Hey Pony," I said while leaning into the doorway. He snapped his head around and gave me a smile, forcing a smile on my face. For some reason, I can't help, but smile when Pony does. I guess it's just a habit.

"Mornin' Max," Pony said sitting down at the table with a plate of eggs. Pulling out a chair, I sat next to him while he hastily ate his eggs.

"Ready for school?" I asked him, covering the silence.

"I'm tired, but ya," He answered, almost finishing his breakfast.

"Hey I'm gonna go to the bathroom before we go," Ponyboy nodded his head while I walked out the room and into the bathroom.

After finishing up in the bathroom, I heard Soda and Steve laughing. I miss Soda in my life, but since he hasn't been talking to me, him and Steve became best buddies again. I rather see them happy together than me coming in the way. It put a smile on my face, to know the two of them were doing good again.

Hanging my head low, ashamed of what I did to Sodapop, I walked back into the kitchen to see Ponyboy putting his plate in the sink."You ready?" I asked him, leaning against the doorway crossing my arms and waiting for an answer.

"Yeah," He said while flinging his backpack over his shoulder. "All right, let's go," He said walking out the door. Nodding my head, I followed him.

Before leaving, I turned around to say something to Soda, but once he noticed me looking at him, I choked on my words. "H-hey Soda," I stuttered. A flash of sadness past through his green eyes, but was quickly covered with hate. I've never seen him like that. His eyes are always lit up and happy and seeing him like this and knowing I caused it, it broke my heart. Quickly, I turned away and caught up with Ponyboy who was waiting for me by the gate.

"So," Pony said awkwardly beginning our walk, "You and Soda huh?" Everyone knew something was up between Soda and I, but no one had the guts to say anything about it.

"Don't worry 'bout it," Pony and Johnny became close to me, but no where near as close as Soda and I were.

"Want me to talk to him?" Pony offered.

"God no. Please don't. I dont want ya involved. You just keep your head in school. Don't worry 'bout me and my problems," I insisted. He's already got enough problems of his own, he doesn't need to think about mine.

"Sure Max, if that's what ya want," The conversation ended just like that.

The walk was silent and soon the school was in view, just a block away. "Can ya help me study for science later today?" Ponyboy asked. I always helped him study, it was the least I could do for him considering he was the only Curtis son with a real chance at going to college. I owed Darry this.

"Sure Pony," I said cracking a smile. He flung an arm around my shoulders in a brotherly way and pulled me close in a side hug. He was only a couple inches taller, but it still made me feel short to know that he was two years younger than me and was still taller than me.

"I'll see ya later," He shouted waving goodbye to me and walking up to the stairs of the school leading inside. I flashed him a smile and started on my way back home.

I had stopped at a convenient store to get a pack of cancer sticks, when I saw Johnny walking past the store. I quickly paid for them and sprinted outside yelling his name so he wasn't frightened when I got to him. Offering him a grass, he managed to pull a smile small on his face.

"Bad night at home?" I asked. The only response I got was a head nod while he lit his stick and held out the lighter for mine. Lighting up, we smoked in silence while walking around town. "Hows about we go see a movie at the movie house?" I offered. I knew there was this comedy playing and even though I wasn't in the mood, I was making it my mission to cheer Johnny up.

"Yeah, sure," He said. After another block, we had both finished our cancer sticks and approached the movie house. Here we had to pay for the movie because there was no way to sneak in here.

When we got to the theater, it was pretty empty because it was only about 8 o'clock in the morning. Most kids were at school and most parents were at work, so it only made sense that it was practically empty except for a old soc couple sitting up front. When they saw us, they sneered and turned back to the screen hearing it starting. Johnny and I sat in one of the backrows and watched the movie.

After it was over, I told Johnny I needed to stop in the bathroom and he told me he would meet me outside. I walked into the bathroom and saw two girl socs applying their lipstick. I kept my head down walking into a stall and doing my business.

While I was washing my hands, the two girls were laughing to themselves while looking me up and down. "Ya got a problem?" I snapped at them. Their eyes went wide in surprise that I said something to them and they quickly filed out of the bathroom.

I walked outside to hear a familiar voice yelping. Looking more closely, I saw Johnny on the ground trying to protect his face while three socs were kicking him senselessly. There was only two of us and three of them, although it wasn't even, I wouldn't put up with them beating Johnny. Poor, innocent Johnny who is quiet and never speaks up or says a wrong thing to anyone.

One boy had dirty blonde hair and was wearing a blue sweater with a white collar sticking out. He had matching tan khaki pants that were perfectly wrinkle free and of course, brown loafers. Another guy was also blonde, but was a bit curly and the guy was somewhat buff. Next to him, was a smaller guy who had brown hair cut short.

"Get the fuck off him!" I yelled pushing the guy in the blue sweater away, getting everyone's attention.

"Awwh, need your girl to fight for ya? That's so cute," He said with a smirk plastered on his face. I saw Johnny in the process of standing up, he knew he had to fight because I couldn't take on all three.

"You know what else is cute?" I said sweetly while walking up closer to the guy. He looked at me like he was checking me out in a sadistic manner.

"What baby?" He said biting his lip.

"This," I answered cracking him right in the jaw. I may be small, but I can pack a punch. All the days at the gym helped me out there. He fell back and was now on the grown while I snickered at the kid and Johnny stood up with disbelief. I managed to crack this kids lip right open. Blood was pouring down his chin. "Go Johnny! Go!" I yelled pushing him forward while the two of us ran for it.

I could hear my heart beating in my ears and I was panting like there was no tomorrow. I hadn't ran this fast in a while. The entire time, Johnny was only a couple feet in front of me. We managed to get in our neighborhood right before my face met the concrete. Well, there's gonna be a bruise there later. I yelled as I was flipped around onto my back. All three boys were fighting to pin my hands and legs on the ground and from my view, they were winning.

"Get the hell of me!" I yelled at the boys, but no luck. "Dally! Two-bit!" I hoped one of the guys could hear me, I mean we were close enough to the house.

"This girl's a looker. Maybe she could be useful," The boy in the blue sweater spoke with his face in front of mine as I lost the war to gain control of my hands and legs. He straddled my body and looked me dead in the eye, but I rapidly turned my head away only to get it snapped back in place by his grubby hands. He held onto my jaw tightly, squeezing it. '

"Get the fuck off me you ape-faced socs!" I screamed glaring at him. Of course he didn't listen and I spit right in his eye. The grip on my arms and legs became tighter as I rolled around trying to get loose. I saw Johnny running back over to us and the next thing I knew, he bombarded the other two guys on the ground giving me a chance to get up as I kicked this guy off of me.

Grabbing Johnny, I ripped him away from the guys and started running away. I tripped over my feet a bit, but continued running. Blinking only for a moment, Johnny and I had run right past Dally and Two-bit who went after the guys with their blades in their hands.

The three socs ran away scared shitless knowing they were defenseless without their tuff Mustangs to get away in. "And don't come back ya bastards!" Two-Bit shouted at the socs.

After Two-Bit and Dally decided Johnny and I weren't beat up too bad, we all walked back to the Curtis's. Of course no one else was their because Pony was at school and the other three boys were at work. When we got to the house, Johnny, Two-Bit and I sat on the couch while Dally paced around the room then suddenly punched a wall thankfully not putting a hole in it. "They're on our territory! Who the fuck do they think they are!" He wasn't really talking to us, more like out loud.

"Dal, just let it go, we're fine," I stated while looking at Johnny for confirmation. He nodded his head at me while taking out a grass and smoking it fast.

The rest of the day was uneventful while the four of us stayed home the rest of the day. The boys spent the day hanging out watching Mickey Mouse and playing cards while I slept or did the dishes in attempt to save some time for Darry.

While doing the dishes and bored of the quietness, I started to quietly sing a lullaby my grandma used to sing to me every night to help me slepe.

_Golden slumber kiss your eyes,_

_Smiles await you when you ,_

_pretty baby,_

_Do not cry,_

_And I'll sing you a lullaby._

_Care you know not,_

_Therefore sleep,_

_While I o'er you watch do ,_

_pretty darling,_

_Do not cry,_

_And I will sing a lullaby._

I hadn't realized someone else was in the room until I turned around to dry my hands on the rag that was sitting on the table and saw Johnny sitting there with a cigarette in his hands. "That was real pretty," He said quietly while looking at me with his innocent puppy dog eyes.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Grandma used to sing it to me at night. I used to never be able to sleep without hearin' it," I informed him on my childhood past. Ponyboy and Sodapop don't even know anything about my past. I knew most of theirs, but they never asked about mine. They knew my family was all dead except Dally and his parents, but never asked about it. They probably knew it was too sensitive of a subject.

Johnny surprisingly pulled me into a tight hug most likely thinking I would burst into tears any second, but I wasn't going to. That song was a happy memory for me and I wasn't going to make a mess out of it by crying. We both pulled out of the hug and walked into the living room. By then Steve and Soda were home and sitting at the table playing cards with Two-Bit.

I took cover in Darry's big chair, wanting to be left alone. It felt awkward for a while being around Steve and Sodapop, but soon the tension went away and I felt calm again.

"You guys goin to Buck's tonight?" Dally asked. We all nodded our heads, even I did. I knew Dally didn't want me drinking, but just because I was going didn't mean I had to drink. Even if I did, I would only have a beer or two, just for a small buzz.

"You bringin' Evie with ya tonight Stevie?" Two-Bit asked while trying to take a peek at Steve's cards. A pang of hurt hit me. Nobody knew about my feelings for Steve, not Sodapop, not Ponyboy and I'm sure Steve was completely oblivious to it too. Not wanting anyone to notice, I shook it off quickly.

"Yeah, she said she got somethin' real special she wanna do tonight," Steve said hinting they were gonna be using one of the bedroom's upstairs at Buck's. I never met Evie, but my guess was she was one of them slutty greasy girls if she really said that to Steve. I have no place saying that, but we were both drunk and horny. But since she's with Steve, she was much higher than me.

"Atta' boy Steve," Dally said piping in on all the fun. For some reason Soda didn't comment like usual. Maybe he did know about my feelings for Steve, who know's. Soda is much smarter than he lets on or than he knows. He just won't accept it because he thinks he's dumber than a board which is why he dropped out of school, but I knew he was smart. Maybe not book smart, but people smart.

"Two-bit, how come ya didn't tell me 'bout your girl Kathy?" I asked attempting to change the subject subtly.

"How'd ya know 'bout her Maxy?" He questioned.

"Met her at the Dingo once. Real nice girl, real pretty," I said approving of his choice in girls, not that my opinion mattered on that subject. At least she wasn't like Evie, or at least doesn't sound like Evie.

"Yeah, really like the girl," He said smiling a goofy smile.


	13. One Beer Too Many

I promised Two-Bit I would come right back to the Curtis's after changing my clothes into something more party fitting and that's what I was going to do. The guys didn't have to change their clothes or do add more to their look than they usually did because they were all good looking or had girlfriends.

After my shower, I wrapped a towel around my body while drying my hair with another towel while walking to my room to get clothes. Dropping the hair towel to the ground, I opened my drawer and pulled out a pair of jean shorts and a very low cut, tight black tanktop. I threw the towel on the ground while slipping my black bra and lace underwear on, then throwing my shorts and top over it. I decided to leave my hair how it was because I didn't need to look too special for the occasion. I mean don't get me wrong, I wanted to catch Steve's eye, but I didn't want to make it obvious.

Without another glance, I walked out the door and downstairs to see people had already started arriving. I saw Buck behind the door and waved to him before leaving and heading to the Curtis's.

When I got there, I could hear the whiney voice from outside. I knew it wasn't Kathy's because her voice was soothing, almost like a mothers, so my guess was the whiney voice belonged to the one and only Evie. This should be a fun experience, meeting your hookup's girlfriend. Joy to the fucking world.

I took a breath before opening the screen door and walking inside. All the talking stopped once everyone laid their eyes on me. I caught Steve checking me out when walking in and my eyes went soft, but they quickly turned hard since I chose to act as if I didn't notice. Looking at Soda who was on the floor with a beer, his eyes were glistening, like emeralds.

Kathy was dressed in a short skirt, but not too short and a blue spaghetti strap shirt on with small cleavage showing. "Hey girlie," She said with a bright smile on her face.

"Hey," I responded putting a smile on my face hoping she didn't notice it falter when my eyes finally darted on Evie. I thought I was a bit showy tonight, but man was she a different story. Her skirt was so short I thought I saw a lip down there and she wasn't wearing a bra, her nips were like needles. She noticed me looking at her and glared at me.

"Oh! This is Evie, Evie this is Max," Kathy introduced us. I knew she didn't know Steve and I had hooked up because she seemed like one of those girls who would be clawing my eyes out by now if she knew, but I could tell she knew I had a thing for Steve by the way I looked at him when I walked in.

Neither Evie nor I acknowledged each other except for her sticking her nose in the air turning her attention anywhere else, but me. Real keeper you got their Steve. You really know how to pick them.

Before I could take a seat, Dally was up and ready to go. "Finally. We're taking my car," Dally didn't actually mean his car, he means the car Buck sometimes lets him borrow. I didn't know how we were all gonna fit in Buck's car meant for five when there was seven of us.

"Wait, we're comin' too!" I guess Ponyboy convinced Darry to let him and Johnny go. Alright, make that nine. I'm gonna get a real kick out of this.

We all filed out the door and followed Dally over to the red mustang convertible that was parked in the street in front of the house. Dally and Johnny got the front seat and Ponyboy sat in between the two in the merged seat, while the rest of us had to figure out how to fit six people in three seats. Two-Bit got in on the right side and allowed Kathy to sit on his lap, then Steve got in the middle with Evie sitting on his lap. Sodapop squeezed in next to the two couples while I stood out the car watching in amazement while they moved around as if this were a daily routine.

"Jus' get on Soda's lap Maxy," Two-Bit spoke chuckling.

Sighing I gave Soda a look asking for his approval, receiving a small nod. I mumbled a sorry to him while climbing on his lap while Soda closed the door. I wasn't even completely sitting before Dally flew out of the driveay knocking me right into Sodapop's chest. Looking in the mirror after situating myself, I gave Dally a cold glare getting a smirk back. I hope he's enjoying this more than I am.

The next thing I knew, Soda's arm was wrapped around my waist. The thought of him actually wanting to do that flew through my head, but I know that wasn't true considering he probably hates me. The only reasonable reason was to be a seatbelt so I didn't continue crushing back into him while Dally drove like a fucking lunatic.

I caught Pony looking at us in the mirror and gave me a sympathetic look, but I guiltily looked away. I knew I hurt Soda, I didn't need Pony's reminder or pity. Readjusting my body so I could see everyone in the backseat, my eyes wandered to Soda and really taking his complexion in since we last spoke and I mean really spoke, not exchange of a couple words here and there.

Sodapop Curtis still had his award winning movie star attribute. I could make out his green eyes glittering in the moonlight making me feel warm inside. I noticed him looking at me and small smile appeared on my face while admiring his perfect jawline.

"I'm sorry for everythin'," I quickly looked away the moment the words left my mouth. I didn't hear a response and I could feel my heart sink. I thought he would still ignore me and hate me, then I felt his arms tighten around my body and I knew he was on the path of forgiving me.

Only minutes later we arrived at Buck's and hastily got of the squished car. Soda got out first and when I tried to get out, I was having trouble with my footing and was going slow because I wasn't trying to fall fast first into this gravel. Before I knew it, there was a rough push against my back and I fell forward only using Soda's back to catch me and not fall. He turned around still holding me up and looked at me questionably while I turned my head to see Evie smirking. Disbelief covered my face when I looked at Steve, angry that he would just let her do that, but he didn't have the smirk I was expecting to be on his face. He was completely expressionless almost disappointed looking.

Once I was out, everyone got out much more easily. We walked into Buck's one after another. A waft of smoke and beer hit my face making my nose twitch even though I should be used to it by now. Right off the bat, everyone split off, leaving me on my own, but I didn't care much. I was about to walk over to the bar only to be grabbed by none other than Dally.

"Don't drink too much, got it?" He said harshly. This was how he showed his way of caring.

"I won't. I just want a beer or two to take the edge off," He nodded approvingly then walked past me and over to one of his buddies.

I continued my journey to the bar, immediately getting unwanted attention from some guy behind it. Buck was probably off somewhere drinking his liver full. I asked the man for a beer receiving a creepy grin revealing his missing tooth on the bottom. I couldn't help, but cringe back in disgust.

"Sure thing baby," He turned away to grab the beer, but took too long.

Sighing in annoyance, I walked over to the couch and flung myself down putting one leg under the other. Sizing the room up, I saw Soda hanging with Two-Bit playing cards with some guys in the back with Kathy behind Two-Bit. I saw Johnny and Ponyboy talking in the corner keeping to themselves, and Dally talking to what looked like Tim, both with a beer in hand. I looked back over at the bar hoping the guy had my drink, but instead saw Steve and Evie making out with her sitting on a chair and him standing. I noticed her legs wrapped around his waist with her chest pressed tightly against his. Great. That's just perfect.

"Here ya go pretty lady," I snapped my head to the voice to meet the dark eyes of the missing tooth man at the bar. Now I could get a better look at him. He looked like a pedophile in all honesty even though I knew he was young. He was thin just like Soda, tall like Dally, but possessed neither of their gorgeous eyes. This guy's were almost black, he looked almost soulless. Stubble outlined his jawline and traveled a bit down his neck. Overall he looked about 26, older than Darry, but not by much.

He pushed the drink in my face and smiled at me while sitting down next to me on the couch. There was a bad feeling in my stomach about taking this drink. I glanced back at Steve and Evie to see his hand up her skirt. Well bottoms up for me.

I grabbed the cup out of his hand and chugged the entire thing. I needed this. Looking back at the man with a shocked face, I bit my lip suggesting another drink and he did as he was told. He came back only a minute after with another beer in hand.

The guy sat down next to me again and flung his arm around my shoulders with a cocky smirk on his face, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Myself not wanting to start anything, I let him keep it there. It was harmless anyways.

Neither of us talked while I sipped on my second beer and the effects of alcohol started on me, but much more than they should've. After a beer and a half, I should only have a minor buzz, but right now the room was completely spinning and my vision was blurring. Everything looked pretty fuzzy and my body felt completely numb.

Soon my second beer bottle was empty on the floor and my legs straddled the soulless man next to me. I trailed kisses up and down his jaw feeling the prickles of his stubble making me squeal girlishly. The giggle increased once I felt something hard in between my legs making me even hornier and crave male attention more. His body vibrated indicating a chuckle coming from him as I pulled my lips onto his. He roughly kissed me back shoving his entire tongue down my throat. I normally would've found that repulsive, but I couldn't stop myself at the moment. Kissing back, I put my hands behind his neck and pulled him closer to me with my chest up against his.

The next thing I knew, my shirt was on the ground and we were laying down on the couch that nobody else reserved. His hands were pressed against my hips while I grinded up against his manhood feeling 'him' against my upper thigh. The man's hands traveled to my shorts when I was violently yanked off of him and was soon in someone else's arms.


	14. Home

Steve's P.O.V

Evie and I found ourselves in a pretty intense makeout session that I definitely didn't want to stop. This girl can turn me on like a lightswitch. She knows what's good and not, but I couldn't help but compare her to Max. Max had a gentle and innocent touch even though she knew what she was doing, while Evie was violent and rough. I had to admit that it felt much better kissing Max, but I could never let her know that even though something about her was irresistible. It drove me nuts.

Shaking the thoughts of Max away and focusing more on my two fingers inserted in Evie, she groaned in my mouth while tugging at my shirt. That always meant she wanted to go upstairs and I was ready for it. Taking my fingers out of her, I grabbed her ass and squeezed it making her jump into my arms. She giggled making little Steve very happy.

We broke the kiss while heading towards the stairs and I took in Evie's complexion. Her face was covered in makeup and her hair was very stringy, not soft like Max's. Evie was sexy, but Max was gorgeous.

I couldn't stop thinking about Max. She always found a way into my thoughts. It might be because she hung around at the Curtis's a lot. I noticed she had stopped coming around after her drug incident and even though it was hard to admit it to myself, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes lit up when I walked into the room. I'm not going to lie, I love the subtle attention she gave me that she thought I didn't notice, it was cute.

Coming back to reality, I set Evie down while she took my hand and led me to the stairs. I took the environment I was in and saw tons of people drunk off their asses, people making out, playing pool and playing cards, but one thing caught my eye. I looked more closely at a couch and saw Max straddling what looked like one of Tim's gang members, making out with him, shirtless.

I stopped walking and watched the way she gently rubbed her body up and down 'him' and I felt a pang of jealousy. Just about a month ago, that was me. I shouldn't care what Max does with herself because I have Evie, but I can't stop letting Max into my head and I most surely can't let her go. There's much more to Max than to Evie. Evie is a square while Max is a never ending sided shape.

"What I tramp," I heard from the voice next to me. I looked at her with a glare I usually give Max to cover my thoughts of her naked body against mine. I know it hurts her when I look at her that way, but I can't let my façade fall apart.

"Shut up Evie," I spoke through gritted teeth looking directly at my girlfriend. Shock covered her face.

"Look at her Stevie, she's all over that guy and in front of people!" She was almost taunting me. A laugh erupted from her. God I hate her laugh, I always have. I just tried to push it aside. Her giggle was much more sexual than her obnoxious horse of a laugh.

"Yeah? Well you were doing the same thing just a moment ago," I pointed out to her. She gasped at my implying she was a slut and received a slap to the face. Evie went to slap me again, but I grabbed her wrist before she could.

"Leave her the fuck alone," I warned her. She humphed at walked away from me to probably go find some other guy to fuck to make me mad. She was one of the girls who found it sexy when their guy got jealous and it annoyed the hell out of me.

Turning around, I saw his hands travel down to Max's shorts, about to take them off. Max roughly pulled his shirt up making his body closer to hers and that's when I broke. She wanted it too, from him, not me. Marching up to the two, I yanked her off of him and held her in my arms. The guy shot up in a sitting position.

"What the hell man!" He yelled now turning everyone's attention towards us.

"Whoa there, don't rape me man," Max slurred into my body. What the hell, is she drunk? She's not supposed to get drunk. I even heard Dally telling her not to. I know that the doctor said she could die if she keeps doing it more.

I ignored Max and pushed her behind me while the guy stood up. "Don't fucking touch her!" I yelled at him while he went to grab Max.

"She ain't your girl!" He rebutted, shocking me. Anger exploded through my body and without thinking, I popped him right in the jaw.

Not looking back, I grabbed Max's hand, picked up her shirt off the ground and pulled her out of Buck's with everyone's eyes on us. I walked until we were yards away from the house and heard the door slam behind us.

"Are you drunk?" I yelled at her.

She giggled and put her hand in front of her mouth while she hiccuped. "No Stevie. Only had one beer! Doctor's order!" She slurred. I've seen her drink before and it took up to five or six beers for her to be anywhere near this drunk. So how in the world could she be this drunk after having one beer? Then it hit me.

"He drugged ya," I said under my breath angrily. How could someone do that to her? She was just some sweet and innocent girl. Maybe that's why I'm hooked on her.

"What?" She asked with a giggle. It was so child like, so angelic.

Max's P.O.V

Steve's eyes became dark and scary. I wanted to back away and run from him, but I knew I couldn't get far being in the state I was in. He looked as if he could kill someone and I was not up to volunteering for that.

"He fuckin' drugged ya drink!" He yelled becoming angrier with every word. I was completely shocked and had nothing to say. Steve tossed me my shirt indicating I should put it on and I did so even though it took me a few minutes. I don't understand why Steve of all people would be the one to pull me out of a situation like this. It didn't add up right.

"Why do ya care so much 'bout me?" I yelled, now infuriated that he thinks he has the right to treat me descent now, but before I was just a ragdoll whose feelings he played with.

"I always cared bout ya!" He shouted much louder than I had.

"That's a fucking lie!" I screamed, tears threatening to pour from my eyes like they have so many times since my grandma passed. He made me so emotionally. I tried to not let any slip and show my weakness to Steve. He didn't deserve to be the reason for my crying.

"How ya want me so how I care?" He said taking a step towards me. "Huh?" He shouted because I gave him no response. I didn't expect that question to be thrown at me, much less than Steve out here with me instead of with Evie.

"Just go back to Evie," I said as one tear slipped from my eye.

"She don't matter right now," Steve spoke, much calmer than he has been. Why would he leave her to pull me away from some guy. It didn't bother him when I was making out with him while I was drunk and sober.

"Stop fucking with my head!" I couldn't control the words that came from my drunken mouth. "We got together one time when we were both drunk! I came back in ya' life and your mean one second then pinnin' me up against a wall kissing me! I'm not one to be played with Steven! And I've fucking had it! Go fuck with some other girl!" He took a step back in shock that I was saying these things. I would say he looked hurt, but I knew that wasn't it.

A moment later, he walked over to me furiously."If I wanna fuck a girl, I would," He got close to my face and his voice was dark.

That was the last straw. He know's I have feelings for him and he continues to push my buttons still. I pushed him multiple times with angry tears falling from my eyes. He can have anyone he wants, hell he had Evie and still got with me, but won't stop being bipolar with the way he acts around me. He's hot, then he's cold. Then you look at me. I have to be a drunken whore to get someone's attention or some greasy, grimey guy that I had to be drugged by. What an accomplishment.

"You're a fucking asshole!" I drunkily shouted over and over again in his face, pushing him every time those words fell from my lips.

"I'm done with this shit," Steve spoke turning around and walking away with my heart going along with him. He needed to leave me alone and stop messing with my head and feelings, but I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay.

Before I could pull his name out of my mouth to stop him, a familiar face appeared in front of mine, silencing me. "I thought I would find you here," Bryce's sadistic smile appeared on his face.

"Go away," I said starting to walk forward, but two guys stepped in front of me.

"You know, I don't like being humiliated by some greaseballs," His voice was extremely dark and I didn't like the feeling of this. "Grab her," I tried to run yet I didn't get far because I was grabbed by these two guys and I was too off my rocker to fight back.

"Stop it. Let me go," The words quietly escaped my mouth as my head began pounding from the alcohol, drug and stress.

"This is payback bitch," Bryce said in a horrifying tone. Before I could react, I heard a click and felt a sharp pain in my side, then another as the object was pulled out. The guys dropped me to the ground while I screamed in agony and they ran to their car and sped off.

I felt my entire world spin out of control as I looked down and saw blood dripping down my shirt and onto my red jeans. My blood. I couldn't stop myself as I tipped over and threw up all the contents of my stomach and screamed in pain and screamed the only name of the only person that would hear me.

"Steve! Steve!" I started off loud and strong. "P-please help me," I whimpered seeing black dots cloud my vision, but I knew I had to stay awake. "Steve," I whispered, starting to crumble to the ground.

"Holy shit!" My body never hit the ground and I gasped for air. Opening my eyes that were forcefully closing, I saw the beautiful face I loved to look at.

"Help," I plea, my eyes starting to close.

"You have to stay awake!" He yelled. I could hear the fear behind his words and did as I was told. He set me down on the ground and I watched through my eyes that were now slits, as he took his shirt off revealing his perfect body. If I died right now, I could die happily. In Steve's protection, looking at the perfect mess he is.

He shoved his shirt on the spot where I was stabbed and I screamed so loud, I thought I would deafen myself. "Ya need to hold this here," He rushed the words out while picking me up and holding me against his chest like a baby.

He sprinted into Buck's and bust the door open with his back while flinging me around. I could see the door was barely hanging on the bottom hinge, Buck was not going to be happy when he saw that. I pouted as I was jerked around, the pain becoming more excruciating. I could barely keep my eyes open to see where Steve was taking me now that tears, smoke and death clouded my vision.

"Dal!" I heard Steve yell. He coolly walked over to us, still not seeing the blood making tracks on the floor now.

"What?" He sneered. Steve obviously pulled him away from a girl or some business he was dealing with.

"She was stabbed.. by a fuckin' socs!" The panic in Steve's voice was more comforting than the thought of dying and being with my grandma again. He cared.

"Buck! Gimmie the fucking phone!" The voice I knew to be my cousin, yelled.

"Why?" The deep voice who I knew was Buck's slurred.

"Look at Max!" Dally screamed at Buck. Opening my eyes to little slits again, fighting to stay awake while the hole in my body felt like it was sucking me in from the inside out, I saw Buck glance at me and immediately sober up. I could see his eye practically pop out of his head as he threw my cousin the phone, the chord barely reaching.

My eyes shut again while Steve yelled at me telling me I had to stay awake. Death was supposed to be peaceful, I told myself as my body started becoming numb, fading into my own world. The blood trickling down my leg, was warm, but my entire body was growing colder by the second. I was letting my body slip away in his arms, regretting so many things.

1. I didn't make up with Sodapop and now I never could.

2. I never thanked Dally for taking me in even though he hates responsibility.

3. I never got to say goodbye to my parents before they died.

4. I never made love, much less loved someone.

5. I didn't save my grandma.

6. I didn't tell Steve, that I was falling madly for him.

"Max! Please, don't die," The sweetest voice broke my thoughts. Ponyboy.

I pushed death aside and tackled him, prepared to start a war. I fought hard to find my way back to Pony's voice. I had to fight until I found it. I needed to find it. Death put up a good fight, but I'm stronger.

"Pony…," A smile appeared on my face while he clung his clammy hands to my frozen ones. I could tell my face was already an almost complete sheet of white paper.

"Don't die," A voice begged. The most beautiful voice asked me. I can't die with all my regrets, time to mark one off.

"Steve.. I… I'm-," My voice felt as if it had been cut by a chord, as if it didn't exist anymore. My slits of eyes shut and black enveloped my eyesight. My hearing started going and in the fuzzy mess of sounds, I could hear my name being shouted over and over by multiple people. I could no longer feel Pony's grip on my hand, but I knew it was still there, I was just losing my body, slowly, losing my grip on life.

I could no longer fight death as he pulled me into the depths of despair. Death refused to let me cheat him again this time. All my senses were gone, except my scent, but suddenly that was gone. The smell of smoke disappeared and was swapped with the smell of my grandma's lilac perfume.

I'm coming home grandma.

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**I hope this was much more emotional and heart pulling than the one I wrote before. Please give me some feedback.**


	15. Death

"_Happy birthday baby," The beautiful voice of my mother spoke as she pulled out a big box from behind her back. _

_As a newly four year old, all the possibilities of what could be inside this box were endless. It could be a dog! Or a giant lollipop! I didn't know what it was, but my four year old self couldn't hold back the excitement as I jumped up and down trying to grab the box from her hands while she held it a bit above the limit I could jump. Giving in after a sweet laugh, she handed me the box and I tore the wrapping paper apart. Before I opened the box, I looked up at my mom and dad. My dad had his hands resting on my mom's shoulders in a loving way, while both of my parents had big smiles on their faces, reflecting off on me making me smile. _

_Opening the box, I pulled out a giant stuffed bunny I remember seeing in the window of a corner store. The bunny was a bit smaller than me, but not much. It was a light rose pink and looked so incredibly soft. The toy's long, floppy, ears reminded me of a cozy blanket I've had since I was born, but it was so torn up, it now laid in a box of used things in the top of my closet. _

_The ribbon around the bunny's neck, was my favorite color, a deep rosy red; the color of my favorite flower. It had had gold sparkles covering some specks of the red. The gold was almost the color of my hair. _

_The happy look on my face must've been priceless, because the moment I looked, up a camera flashed. Picking up the life-sized bunny, I held it in my arms and squeezed it tightly, hugging the life out of it, never wanting to let go. _

"_I love it!" I proclaimed in my high pitched, four year old voice. "Thank you mommy and daddy!" Not letting go of the bunny, I dragged it over to my parents and hugged their legs because that's all my petite self could reach. The vibration shooting from their legs indicated their laughter. Yeah, I was a cute lil kid. _

_Turning around, I saw a bright smile on my grandma who had the camera in her hand with my grandpa standing next to her, a bright smile resided on his face too and not a drunken smile, thankfully. The small six year old Dallas, sat on the couch with his arms crossed and his parents right beside him._

_Giggling, I ran over to my grandparents and hugged the two of them too. My grandma was a short women, so my head reached her waist, but I barely reached above my grandpa's knee. He was always tall. My grandma patted my head, laughing along with me. _

"_Pft, it's just a stupid toy," Dallas said spitting towards me. I knew he was jealous that I was getting attention. We were the same person when we were little, both attention seekers, but the spotlight on our birthday's were only big enough for one of us. _

"_You're stupid!" I exclaimed. _

"_Hey, hey Maxy. That's not very nice," My mom looked at me slightly disappointed making my head hang low. I looked back over at Dally to see him sticking his tongue out at me so I did it back to him. _

_I would show off the bunny to everyone I knew. Sometimes, I would even take it to school, but the teacher would always take it away from me because I wouldn't let go of it and do my work. Anywhere I went, that bunny went. I named it too. grew to be my best friend. He wouldn't judge me when I told him my secrets, he wouldn't make fun of me when I told him the embarrassing things I've done. _

_That stuffed bunny, was everything to me. _

My eyes fluttered open to be greeted by a white room and a beeping next to my head. The white walls and bed sheets told me I was in the hospital, again. Observing the room I was in, I noticed a sleeping Steve holding my hand this time instead of Two-Bit. Looking out the windows, I saw it was dark, meaning it was most likely night time.

I wonder how I long I was out. The last thing I remember, was seeing Steve's worried face. Glancing down at myself, I saw saw I was in a hospital gown. The events of the stabbing came back as I lifted the gown up from the neck to see a big patch on my right hip, my stab wound.

Using the hand that wasn't locked in Steve's, I lifted the gown up from the bottom to get a better view of the patch. While the memories of Bryce's evil face flooded back, I outlined the bandage, over and over and over. It's a disturbing thought to process to know a knife did this to me. I was too afraid to lift the bandage and see the real damage to my body, so I put the gown back down, covering my body.

The sheets surrounding my body were very scratchy and the least bit comfortable. You would think that a hospital would have amazing sheets considering patients spen hours, days and sometimes weeks and months in these beds. I quickly shuddered from the cold that overwhelmed my body, walking up Steve with a jump.

His eyes landed on me the moment they opened. Sitting up in what looked like shock and disbelief, he scooted the chair closer to my bed. "Hey," My voice sounded rather hoarse. I suppose that's what happens in a near death experience.

"Hey," His response was much quicker than I expected. Neither of us knew what to say so we sat in comfortable silence, not taking our hands out of the other's grip. Him holding my hand, made me feel safe and protected from the world, even myself. "What's wrong?" He asked sounding desperate.

I gave him a puzzling look and he pointed to my forehead. Using my hand trapped in his, I felt my forehead to feel a coat of sweat covering my forehead, dripping down my temples. I knew exactly what it was from, the dream, but he didn't need to know. I wiped the liquid off on the hospital blanket and found my hand back in Steve's again.

"Nothing," I said quietly, staring out our entwined fingers.

"Wanna talk 'bout it?" His voice sounded so sincere. Since when has he ever cared about me? He could care less about what was going on in my life, my problems or myself. Maybe, him seeing what happened to me scared him or something.

"No," I snapped quickly. No one except my grandma knew what happened to me after my parents died.

"Look at me," He said in a pleading matter. The memories of my haunting past rushed through my thoughts while I looked deeply in Steve's eyes. His eyes were not innocent, that was for sure, but they were genuine. "I wanna know," I bit my lip, pushing the tears back as more thoughts of my past recovered.

"Why do you care?" I wasn't up for a fight, but I wasn't about to pour my entire life out to someone who I don't even know if I can trust. I want to trust him, I really do, but I don't know if I can.

Steve sighed and sat back in the chair and brushed his unused hands through his hair. "God Max," He seemed as if he was lost for words. His face was scrunched up in thought. He looked like so little, that I just wanted to hold in my arms and rock him back and forth. Somehow after he made that face, I knew I could find refuge in him. It never crossed my mind that someone apart from my grandma would find out about my fucked up past, but maybe this will lift an incredibly heavy weight on my shoulders.

Searching the room, I shifted almost uncomfortably, not knowing what to say or where to even began. I just prayed I could spy something to change the subject, but nothing or anyone was going to come to my rescue. I was always stuck with shitty luck. Studying the chipped paint on the corner of the room, I hoped Steve would drop it, but judging by the sad face displayed on him when I looked back over, I knew he wouldn't.

"They were undercover cops," He looked up at me shocked that I was going to tell him, but confused not knowing who I was talking about. "My parents," I answered wiping that look right off his face. "They were on a job and were killed because they people they were watching caught on. I was left with my grandparents," Tears threatened from my eyes, but I pushed them back.

The large bunny that took place in my childhood appeared in my head, making me laugh. It was sick of me to laugh at that, but I did. "I uh, I had this bunny I got for my fourth birthday. I always wanted it, even through a tantrum outside the store refusing to leave the spot without that bunny," Both Steve and I chuckled, making me blush. "That bunny, was my best friend, until I was eight and they died," I accidentally let a tear slipped, but quickly wiped it away thinking about that bunny resting in my grandma's attic.

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off and looked at the door. "After I heard the news of their death, I never felt more alone. It was a dark time, saw no hope in life. I allowed everyone to leave my life. No friends, no family except my grandparents. But my grandpa, his alcoholism became worse after my dad, his only child died," I noticed Steve cringe.

"Did he umm, did he,-" I knew what he was implying and shook my head before he could finish.

"No, never. He wouldn't ever hurt us," Relief washed over his face. "On the one year anniversary of my parents death, I took the ribbon from the bunny's neck and wrapped it around mine. Life was over for me. I pulled each side of the ribbon and released all the air from my body. Stared death right in the goddamn face," I laughed. I knew Steve was uncomfortable, but I didn't care. "I wasn't scared. I wanted to die," I spoke looking over at Steve as countless tears spilled from my eyes.

"My grandpa died seven years later, when I was fifteen from alcohol poisoning. He drank himself right to death," My grandpa meant so much to me even though he was an alcoholic. I was always his little girl. Although I haven't thought about him much, thinking about him now, shook me up.

My little strength, was gone. I didn't care that I was crumbling under Steve. Letting go of his hand, I very gently pulled my knees up to my body and wrapped my arms around my legs, shoving my head in between my knees. Quiet sobs racked through my body while I ignored the pain from my stab wound. A hand was rubbing my back and I knew it was Steve's.

Sharing my dreadful past, I realized how much it hurt even though I lifted a large weight from my body. It hurt to know that I was lost in the world. It hurt that I used to have a big happy family. Yes, we were filled with alcoholics, my grandpa and Dally's parents, but we worked. I guess that's where I get it from and that's why Dally was so serious about it. But, It hurt to know, that my loved ones were dead, while I was still here after trying to kill myself. They weren't supposed to die, I was. It scared me to know I was capable of pulling my own plug.

"Named the bunny Mr. Sniffles," I sniffed. Steve's chuckle filled the room, bringing music to my ears. "But after I tried to umm...I haven't touched it. Everyday, I would see my parents happy faces. Every night, I would stare at it til I gots tired, but would wake up every night screaming and crying from the nightmares. My gran, put it in the attic and the nightmares stopped. It used to be the only thing that could make me happy, but after that, I thought of death and nothing but," I sounded completely and utterly insane, hearing this all. I looked at Steve again to see if he left, but nope. He sat in the chair, staring at me still.

"I'm so messed up, Steve," I confessed. Still crying, I put my head back in my knees so Steve couldn't see me weak. I laid down on the bed and faced the other wall, letting my tears soak the pillow. I felt blankets cover my body and arms wrapping around my side. Turning a bit to my right, I saw Steve in my bed.

"S'all right baby girl," Steve spoke soothingly. I wanted to turn my body completely and look at Steve, but I couldn't because that's the side my stab wound was on. So instead, I turned back on my left said and grabbed his hands, wrapping them tighter around my body. My eyes began getting heavier and soon fell asleep, with Steve protecting me from my nightmares and myself.

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**So that was some heavy stuff guys. What'd yeah think? Please give me reviews to make it better or give me ideas!**


	16. Repercussions

When I woke up, I felt someone breathing on my neck. Slowly turning onto my back, I saw the most heavenly face. His face was so pure and innocent, it pricked tears in my eyes.

Steve used to be innocent, didn't he? He used to be able to roam the streets at night and not worry about having to look over his shoulder. He used to go a day without swearing, or drinking, right? But of course, it wasn't a possibility now. It's nearly impossible ever since 'socs' and classes became things.

This town is so messed up, I want to get out. I can't live in fear of walking out of my house everyday. I can't live in fear that something could happen to the people I care about. I can't pretend like everything is okay, when innocent people like Johnny are getting beaten near to death everyday. Or people like, protecting myself, and end up getting stabbed.

It's not right. It's not moral. This town is nothing near right. It's dangerous. I could never raise my children here with no justice in the system. Thinking it's okay for socs to beat on greasers just because they have less money. I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to my child or husband, the two people who would be most important in my life.

I'm glad I'm not close to a socs anymore. Socs are cold and mean, they have no feelings towards themselves or each other. I'm glad I'm a greaser. I never realized, that the reason they're so tough, is to protect themselves from getting hurt and protecting the ones they love. Greasers can feel more than socs. Greasers are passionate.

Take Steve and Soda for instance. They have such a strong love for cars. They put all their energy into fixing them and educating themselves on it. And Ponyboy, he loves books. He reads them so much, I'm sure he can recite them in his sleep. I'm sure he'll grow up one day to be an author. And Darry, he dropped everything for his family. He refused to let his brothers be thrown into a boys him and succum to failure.

I had to get out of here and I had to soon.

Closing my eyes to try and picture a safe utopia, Bryce's face reappeared. The pain of getting stabbed shot through my body. The way I was held back against my will. Bryce's words, that would echo through my head til the day I die. _This is payback bitch." _ A sharp pain stung my side. My blood curdling scream ringing through my head. I could feel the warmth of my blood seeping through my white shirt and running down my hip like a stream of water.

My eyes flickered open in a heavy breath. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep until I felt my forehead drenched with sweat and the room become brighter. Beginning to pant hard scared that he was coming after me, beads of sweat dripped down my temples.

His once soothing voice, reflected off the walls as the pain in my side got stronger and his voice got louder. The walls felt like they were closing in on me, trapping me in such a horrible nightmare that would never leave. My breathing sped up more and my heart monitor beeping got louder. The sounds wouldn't go away. I wanted silence.

"Leave me alone," I panted out, feeling my body temperature rising. His smile flowed through my thoughts. "No, don't hurt me," I cried out. Pleading. Feeling the cold metal sliding in and out of me, I screamed. "No! Stop it!" The scream filled the room along with the screams from that night filling my thoughts. "Go away! Stop it!" It was torcher. Pure torcher.

"Max! Max stop!" A voice pleaded. "It's okay," The whispered pulling me into their arms. My panting slowed as I felt the familiar arms wrap around me. "You're okay, you're safe," He reassured me. His voice soon was the only thing that I could hear, he blocked out my cries, screams and his voice.

"Make it go away," I cried, covering my ears. "Please," I wept into him. He sighed and rubbed my back and held me tighter against his body. I could feels his muscles tense as I continued to plead over and over. "I'm so scared," I whispered.

"They ain't ever goin' touch you again," He said into my hair. "I promise," I held him tighter at his words, knowing he was telling the truth.

I truthfully thought my life was over, but once again I cheated death, just like I did when I was nine. How could an innocent nine year old, have such a repulsive, foul, inhumane, and sickening thought go through their heads? Most nine year olds are playing on the playground, while I refused to leave my room and staring out the window, wishing I could fall out of it and put an end to my misery.

Suddenly, the door broke the serious conversation. Peeking out from Steve's chest, I saw the doctor and thankfully not my grandma's doctor.

"Ms. Bryant?" He asked. I nodded my head responding.

"Well, the stabbing almost killed you. It was extremely close to hitting a main artery, killing you. Your friend here, was very smart trying to stop the bleeding and brought you in as soon as he did. You were put in emergency surgery. You should consider yourself very lucky. Now you've been in the hospital for a while, so I think,-" I couldn't help, but stop him.

"How long have I been here," It didn't seem very long.

"Almost five days. Your healing process is going very well and I think you should be out of here in just a couple days. We want to keep an eye on you," He explained before I could ask further questions.

"Why was I asleep for so long?" I questioned.

"Well after the surgery, the propofol had kept you asleep for a couple days longer. It's what we use to put you asleep during surgery. You probably don't remember, but you woke up a couple times and we had to keep giving you pain killers," I nodded again and he walked out with a nod to his head. I didn't realize how hungry I was until my stomach growled loudly.

"Whoa there. Want me to get ya some food?" Steve offered sitting up more.

"No, don't leave me," I clung to his shirt tighter, scared that if he left the voices and screams would haunt me. My stomach felt like a black hole, grabbing everything in it's grasp, but I still didn't want Steve to leave.

He started leaning back into the bed, my stupid stomach growled again, making him laugh quietly. His laugh was like music to my ears. "I'm gonna get you some food," He said pulling me away and standing out of the bed.

"No, please don't go Steve," I pleaded, afraid of what might happen to me if he goes from either my mind, or from a person. "I'm so scared," I cried pulling my knees up to my body and coddling them.

Sighing, a frown grew on his face as he sat back down next to me. I sat very still while he rose his hand to my face. I had no clue what he was doing until he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear and looking me dead in the eye. "I'll be right back. No one'll hurt ya, I promise," Something about the intense way he spoke it made me know that it would be okay.

I gave in and nodded my head giving him the okay as he walked out of the room looking back at me one time. Nearly seconds later, there was a knock at my door. Before I could answer, Johnny, Two-Bit and the Curtis brothers, even Soda, walked into my room; Soda trailing behind. The moment his eyes caught mine, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the grown, suddenly interested in it.

Before I could speak, Ponyboy rushed to the bed and sat where Steve was once before. "I'm so sorry," He looked down guiltily. "Shouldn't've happen to ya," I could see a few tears he was pushing back in his eyes. Greasers care about people, but are still tough enough to manage not to cry. This would be the first time I would ever see one cry.

I couldn't help, but wrap my arms around Ponyboy, around the boy I grew very close to. "Don' leave me alone ever again," I whispered, quiet enough for only Ponyboy to hear. When Ponyboy pulled away from the hug, he sat in the chair Steve sat in yesterday.

"How ya holdin' up kiddo?" Darry asked, pulling up a chair from a corner in the room.

"Fine," I didn't want to have any conversation about what happened, but it never goes my way.

"Gave us a right good scare, Maxy," Two-Bit interjected, finishing up for Darry. Two-Bit walked over the other side of the bed Ponyboy wasn't on and pulled up a chair from against the wall and dragged it closer to the bed before sitting down.

The waft I got from Two-Bit, didn't smell like his signature smell. The usual scent of beer and cigarettes wasn't there. I've never smelled Two-Bit without either or both of those scents following right behind it. It took til now to realize, I missed it.

I remember my grandma saying what Two-Bit said to me when I was younger. She said it after I woke up in the hospital from the ribbon suicide. I remember it so clearly.

_Walking up to Mr. Sniffles, I examined him for the last time I ever would. At least til I maybe got older. I ripped the ribbon off of his neck and wrapped it around my own. Sitting in down in front of my bedroom window, I held tighter onto the ends of the ribbon. _

_The sounds of children's laughter filled the neighborhood. I would never be like those kids, ever again at least not now. Grasping the ribbon so tight in both hands that all my knuckles turned white, I yanked it, letting the rest of my body's air out. The last thing I heard before losing consciousness, was my grandma's frightened cries. _

It sounded almost identical to Pony's when he was screaming for me to stay awake and him and Steve telling me to keep my eyes open.

_When my eyes opened, I was surrounded by whiteness. I thought I was in heaven, until I heard my grandma's voice. I knew I was just in a hospital. After a long talk with her, I remember those words echoing through my head, all the way up until my teen years for whenever I was late, got in a fight, or anything along those lines._

"_Gave me a right good scare, Maxy," She said, her face drenched with tears. _

I cheated death then, and once again, I cheated it now.


	17. Fairytale Endings Are Lies

**So sorry it took a while to update! I've been crazy busy! But here's the new chapter! Don't forget to review!**

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The next few days in the hospital were boring and uneventful except for my recurring nightmares every night. Steve had to stay with me every night, he was the only one who was there when it happened, he's the only one who can keep me sane. I don't know why it's him and not Ponyboy, someone who's respected me and been here for me, but it's Steve. It's always Steve.

One night when he didn't stay, it was hell. I didn't sleep at all and when I did I would wake up in a cold sweat, screaming out for help. At every noise, I shook. I counted down the minutes until Steve walked through the door that night.

Everyone had a one-on-one visit with me at least once except for Soda and Dally. The only time Sodapop was here, was when I first woke up, but Dally hasn't come in at all. Just shows how great of a family he is. It made me more upset than mad, knowing he wouldn't come and see me. Maybe it was shock, I don't know, but for once, I honestly wanted to see him. Even if it was just to yell at me for how stupid I've been, I missed my cousin.

When Steve would visit me, it was the best time of my day. We finally started bonding. Although there was still some tension between the two of us, we were much better than we were before. I just wish it didn't take a near death experience for it to happen.

Whenever nobody was there, I felt this cold drift over my body, freezing me from the inside out. I felt so lonesome. My mind would wander off to my parents and grandparents; how they all died, how they all left me. They say God always has a plan, but where is the plan in that? Leaving me all alone in this cold and cruel world?

I could feel myself slowly slipping back into depression again; even more when that bunny would pop into my head and I would reimagine that day when I was nine. It was as if those memories, were my only memories.

Feeling the scratchiness from my sheets and the warmth from the body underneath me, I cuddled further into Steve, scared that he would disappear in an instant. Just like most nights, his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist protectively, while my head rested on his chest. I didn't think that he knew he wasn't only protecting me from Bryce and my nightmares, but of myself. I needed more saving from myself and my thoughts so thank god Steve is by my side.

I laid contently feeling Steve stir underneath me, meaning he was waking up. Moving my head up a bit to see his angelic face and his green eyes blinking open and a smile appear on his face once he saw me. I noticed his eyes changed colors all the time. In the morning and when he was content they were green, when he was mad or upset they were grey. Both colors, were too beautiful for me to handle.

"Mornin' doll face," His groggy morning voice said sweetly. I wished I could wake up to this every morning for the rest of my life. Steve's face, a smile and his eyes lighting up with his arms around me, it was too perfect.

"Hi," I spoke quietly while my stomach grumbled and I knew what was coming next, Steve leaving me.

"Want me to get ya some food?" He asked. I wasn't eating much all week except when Steve practically threw it down my throat. I shook my head saying no, but he never takes no as an answer. "I don' care what ya say, I'm gettin' ya some," I knew I lost. Sighing in defeat, I watched him inch out of bed and out the door.

After he dropped my food off, he told me he had to go to work. A frown grew on my face while he stepped out the door. I sat in silence all that day, fighting off the nightmares and the voices. While peering out the window, looking into the darkness of outside, the door burst open revealing Sodapop.

He looked terrible. He had stubble covering his chin making a really visible 5 o'clock shadow. His clothes were ragged and dirty, just covered in dirt and car grease. His hair had little to no grease in it, the first time I've ever seen it.

My immediate reaction was to jump in his arms, telling him to never leave me again, but I resisted, afraid he would push me away and leave. I don't want him to leave. I missed him so much, it felt like my head hasn't been on straight since our friendship ended. I feel awful for what I did, I would give anything to get him back in my life.

"Sodapop?" It was almost a whisper, as if I was asking myself whether or not he was here or if I was imagining it. He looked up at me for the first time since he's seen me. I could see the tears swelling in his eyes and I could tell he was trying to hold them back, but it didn't stop my eyes tearing up. "Soda?" I repeated even quieter, now convinced I was imagining him being here.

"I thought you was dead, Maxy," His head lowered and his voice crack. He broke. I saw a single tear shed from his eye and quickly fall to the ground.

"I could never die on ya, Sodapop," He looked up at me with a glistening in his eyes. "I'd miss ya too much," I brushed back a strand of hair behind my ear and cracked a small smile on my face, hoping and praying he would return one. I could hear his sweet chuckle ring through my ears as he showed his gorgeous, movie-star smile. I missed his smile so much. He usually smiles all the time, but now, it almost looked unnatural on him.

He slowly walked over to me, but stopped short at the foot of my bed. Intently, I watched him play with the blankets at my feet, wrapping the end of it around his finger, but quickly unwrapping it. He looked so nervous, Sodapop is never nervous. He's the kinda guy, that's never afraid to ask something or even speak his mind. He started fingering the blankets again then abruptly dropped them.

"Umm were ya uh, mad at me?" He asked, stuttering a bit.

I could feel my heart ache from each word he spoke. "I never was," I said, hoping he wasn't still mad at me. I missed him so much and being stuck here, in this shithole of a hospital, doesn't help. Once again he smiled; I was getting used to his smile again.

"Maxy, you-Jesus, you really gave me-us a fright. We got here as fast as we could. They jus', they took ya to emergency surgery and wouldn't tell us nothing," His face grew softer and more scared as he continued talking, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. "I..w-we, thought you was dead," He whispered the last part like he was scared to say it. His face was so pale, he looked like a ghost. Honest to god, fear was seeping through his eyes. I've never seen anyone so scared. "I thought you was dead," He whispered, dropping to his knees.

I watched him hold his face in his hands as quiet sobs racked through his body, filling the silent room with his cries. I so badly wanted to jump out of this bed, hug him tightly and never let go; just like the first day I got my bunny. Using all my power, I threw my blanket off of me and swung my feet over the side of the bed, thankfully I wasn't connected to any machines today.

Slowly, I pulled myself up and ignored the pain surging through my right hip and hobbled over to Soda. As carefully as I could, I gently bent down next to him, trying to push the pain away that shot through my hip again, and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped at the touch of me and ended up with his back against the wall.

"Soda, please, talk to me," I breathed while calmly and lightly crawling over to him, wincing at every moment until I was next to him with my back against the wall too.

"If ya died, I-I, I woulda never forgave myself," Soda choked out, more tears spilling out of his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him as he leaned into me. I let him cry on my shoulder, not minding comforting him after all the times he's comfort me.

"Why?" I was so confused. What would he have never forgiven himself for? It wasn't his fault what happened, he couldn't have done anything about it. He wasn't even there.

"Cause, we haven't talked all week cause' of me. And you woulda," He paused and gulped, loud enough for me to hear. "Ya woulda died thinkin' I hate ya," I felt a few tears fall on my neck as he continued talking. "I ain't mad at ya, I don't hate ya, cause… cause-," He stopped short of his sentence. It made me want to hang on for the ride I knew I'd be riding when I heard what he said.

"Cause of what Soda? You can tell me anythin," I spoke quietly into his ear.

Seconds later, he pulled away and looked me directly in the eye. Searching to see what his eyes were saying, I saw fright, passion, desire, want, plead and so much more that was so indescribable. "Cause I love ya Maxy. I love ya so much. Everythin' about ya. Like ya aint afraid to show true emotion, ya care 'bout other people more than yourself. Even the lil' things, I notice 'em. Like when ya upset, you always breath really funny and ya bite ya lip when ya thinkin'. I notice everythin'. Ya have passion, love and hope and more that makes ya so perfect," He brushed away the piece of hair that fell in my face, never breaking his gaze.

"Soda-," I didn't know what to say, but he saved me by continuing to talk.

"You're perfect Maxy. Since the day I met ya, I knew ya weren't like all them greasy girls. I knew you would be everythin' I could ever want. Maxy, I love ya, so much that it hurts. I can't describe the feelings ya give me," He had true feelings behind what he said and I didn't know what to say.

I was completely speechless. I didn't even know what to feel. "Soda, I-I don' what to say," I choked out, still trying to process the words that just left Sodapop Curtis's mouth. No boy has ever felt that way about me before. I was always the girl in the back who people whispered or made fun of. I never thought it was possible to think such things about me. I never thought anyone could love me. I always thought I would die alone.

"But ya like Steve, I know," I never told Soda, but I knew it was obvious. "I'll accept it, if he makes ya happy," Soda said sniffling.

"Soda, I-," I was cut off by Soda leaning over and placing a small, but passionate kiss full of love, on my lips. A kiss that took my breath away, yet there was no spark there that I heard is supposed to happen.

I used to read fairytale books that my grandma would give me, and they always ended with something like 'When he kissed his princess, she could feel the sparks between their lips. It felt like electricity. She knew he was the one', or something like that and I just didn't feel it with Sodapop.

"Goodbye, Max," He whispered while drying his face off from all the tears he had cried. His leaving didn't stop me from crying. Now, I couldn't stop; it was almost uncontrollable. My eyes wandered up, just in time to see him walk out the door.

I hated myself so much for letting him walk away, but I don't have those feelings towards him. I hated that, Soda loves me so much and I couldn't return the feelings. I hated myself for so badly wanting something I couldn't have no matter how much I wanted it, when Soda is offering it to me. He is offering everything I could possibly want or need in a relationship, but it's somehow not good enough for me. Soda was offering me the fairytale endings I have read about, but I couldn't accept it; I had to turn the other way.

The more the feelings began to wrap around my brain, the more I felt my body sinking lower into that pit that got deeper and became more cruel, playing with my feelings, the lower I sank. It felt as if I couldn't stop falling or as if someone was grabbing me and engulfing me into this darkness that never seems to end.

The only thought I could get through my head was 'Steve'. He didn't want me in anyway, shape or form. He was only here because he probably felt that it was his fault, that if he didn't walk away from me that night, it wouldn't have happened. So why would he want anything to do with a broken, depressed shell of what was left of me after I lost everyone I've loved? That's all I am! He doesn't want a girl who has nobody, who's depressed, who's a helpless romantic, or even a girl who can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The more the thought developed in my head, the more I thought, would I ever be able to crawl back out of this pit of darkness? Would I ever be able to flourish into the happy girl I used to be?


End file.
